Excessive

Like Steve has said, if you've already written how you feel once, why just repeat yourself. What I wrote almost a year ago, still rings true to how I feel today, almost exactly in every way. I wish I could get into a routine, and forget my troubles and just live a boring, uneventful life. Doesn't seem possible... but I can dream.

Taken from: November 29, 2004

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I've felt so empty, and unfullfilled lately and I really have concluded that it's because of my lack of any routine at all. I go to bed a different times each day, I eat different things, sometimes I eat supper, sometimes I don't, sometimes I do the dishes, sometimes I don't, everything is so random that my brain can't sink into a pattern and I just feel so empty. So fucking completely empty. I want to have a routine, I want to fix this, I want to improve it. I bought sleeping pills as my first step to improvment. This way I will have a set bed time everynight, and hopefully that in turn will create a set wake up time each morning, so I can get up early, enjoy my breakfast, like... really enjoy my fucking breakfast, watch a little Tv, FEEL GOOD ABOUT MY SELF! FUCK! I want this comfort so bad, I don't want to feel empty like this anymore. I feel so pointless, so trivial. WHY AM I DOING ALL THIS IF I DON'T FEEL GOOD? *sigh* I'm just frustrated. Things will turn around... because I'm going to make them.

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(clicky click?)

I also like these lyrics, they've been modified to fit this screen (ie. took out the repetitiveness). Steve played the song last night, and I've been listening to it a lot on the way to work recently.

You'll Rebel To Anything

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You need a uniform
So you won't be ignored
You are affected
And so you're accepted

It's time that you invested in a bottle of poison
So we don't have to hear about you bitchin and moanin
You think you could afford a fuckin bottle of asprin

Boo fuckin hoo you're not the only one whose life's a piece of shit
And yet miraculously somehow we all seem to deal with it
Did anybody think that you would really seriously slit your wrists
In fact I think that everybody thinks you're seriously full of shit

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397 words

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