Excessive

I think I've waited too long to start writing, I was distracted and time seems to go by so fast when I only have a few hours at home. I had things going through my brain, rushing through my god damn mind so fast that I couldn't keep any kind of structure to them. I see things fly by, I put together sentences in my head but don't seem to hold on to them for longer than ten seconds. It's a frustrating thing in all honesty, as in the three hours I've been at home, I've had an entire entry fly through my head and yet I sit here unable to recall any of it.

I've been in a strange, unique place, you know... metaphorically and all, my mind is racing, all a mess, I can't seem to sort anything out. You know when you're a teenager, and your room is just a mess... like, you have clothes everywhere, dishes, crap just spread out everywhere, and to get to a clean pair of pants you need to crawl over a bunch of shitty gross shit just to even look... yeah, that's my mind right now.

I don't have time to think about school, something which will become a reality in like, two days... which is a problem. I haven't had time go buy books, or even check if I need any books, and I haven't had any time to organize or set up my computer for school... or even know if it will continue to work properly once I've started back into school and need to move it in my backpack all the time.

I'm nervous about the amount of time I will be spending at school, and then the amount of time I will be spending at work, and how little of transition time I have... I will not have time for lunch or dinner on days I need to work, and I work most days, and this upsets me. I feel a bit not in control... a bit chaotic. I am lost and looking for something but not sure what or where or how... I think Monday is the first day of a new start, I think I will be able to create some kind of new routine next week, and I think maybe that's all I need.

I think that's all I've got for now... I had way more I wanted to write but it seems lost for now. I have work tomorrow, which is going to suck, and then I have Monday off to uhh.. feel alive maybe? and then do laundry, get ready for school. Please, please let me get through all this with my mind intact.

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