Excessive

I feel as though I may have stumbled into a bit of a down period. Recently I've really noticed a lack of energy, a lack of motivation, uninterested in StarCraft 2, bored easily, restless, thinking upsetting thoughts... and it's weird, because when you feel this way, you convince yourself you've felt that way forever, for a long time, but I think it's only been a little while, at least recently.

School is fine, although extremely easy. I'm eager for projects because I find them genuinely fun, but at the same time, I'm disappointed with the assignments I've been getting because of the ease. We got a database project and got 14 days to complete it, however this afternoon I completed it in 15 minutes tops.

I just don't feel like myself right now, but can't really remember what I'm supposed to fee like, and those questions, that circle of questioning is exactly the indication that something is wrong, and the fact that I can recognize that is... good?

I need to make my lunch when I wake up tomorrow, which means I need to wake up when my alarm tells me too, not a half hour later, exactly when it goes off, so I have time to organize myself. I need to pack a lunch, eat breakfast, get ready to leave, pack the laptop, all these things I should do the night before, but am not, because I really just feel I should get in bed, but I dunno, I kind of know I'm making a stupid choice by going to bed before doing most of that stuff... but I'm going to do it anyway.

I haven't been sleeping lately either, well... Sunday night I couldn't sleep AT ALL due to my body aching unbelievably after working 26 hours in two days. I couldn't close my eyes, lay still, it was unbearable. Then again the next day I couldn't sleep and got up and watched TV, and last night it seemed like hours I laid there trying to sleep, and once I did go to sleep, I woke up every hour, and when I woke up I couldn't figure out if I had fallen asleep yet or not. Last night for the first time in years and years I thought about buying sleeping pills... probably not the best thing to do, but maybe they'd be helpful to have in the house on rare occasions when I might need to force myself to sleep at certain times.

I believe that's it for now, sorry for the lack of writing recently.. uh.. self. Again, I've been feeling down, less creative, less caring about anything, so writing seemed stupid. I'll try to snap out of it, I swear.

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