Excessive

So I think I left writing this way too late, as I'm already really tired, and pretty much ready for bed. Today was another weird day, filled with weird feelings.

The first half of the day was significantly better than the second half, but it's all mainly my fault, so I dunno, I guess I saw it coming. I knew I would be a ball of poo if I just sat around aimlessly all day, so I made a list of things to do, with the main goal being laundry, so I spent the first half of the day making a nice big breakfast, and then doing household chores and doing the laundry, which was all fine and perfectly keeping busy. Eventually I ran out of things to do, and I was having difficulty finding anything to keep my attention. I played a few games but not for very long, as I just couldn't really get into anything.

The second half is about where nothing seemed to go right. First, I started making dinner for Michelle, as well as myself, because it just felt rude to only make dinner for myself, so I thawed and seasoned a chicken breast and made a mushroom cream sauce, but in the middle of getting dinner ready, Michelle told me she wouldn't be eating dinner at home, so I put away the chicken and didn't thicken the sauce and just put it in the fridge... not sure if it'll hold up but whatever. I wasn't upset or anything, it just seems fitting that the time I try to do something nice it backfires in my face. I ended up with double the potatoes and vegetables, so I just saved them for whenever I have a nice meal next.

The second thing that went wrong, would be that while I was making that cream sauce, the cream boiled over onto the burner (and under... onto the drip tray) and afterward, when I went to steam the veg, I turned that burner up higher to get the water boiling, and went and sat at the computer. I noticed black smoke and the smell of burning, so I walk back to the kitchen and a quarter of the stove is on fire, so I just picked up the potato pot and poured some of the water on to the burner, which put it out, but not before marking up my nice copper bottom pot with black char marks, which may or may not come off.

The third thing that went wrong was one of my favorite new sweaters shrunk in the wash, and now is unwearable, which upset me quite a bit. I liked how I looked in it, it made me feel a bit more confident, like I used to... I felt good. Now it's gone.. and yeah, just makes me feel shitty.

After dinner, I spent a lot of time looking through my archived/back-up stuff on my external from about 2006 to 2002, tons of images, letters/documents.. It was bittersweet, as seeing that old stuff, and reading it all, it brings back painful memories, but also strange good feelings too. I won't go into it much tonight, as I'm already so tired, but yeah, it makes me really think about time, where I am, who I was, who I am now... where I want to be.

During my searching through old stuff, I actually found an archive containing an old version of this very site, back before I did the 'reboot' back in 2006. So I unpacked it and set it up to look at, and while it doesn't really function, I can look at my old code (and groan) as well as see the links I used to have, all my old writing (stories, articles) and a ton of other small projects I thought were lost forever. It was really neat to see, very, very neat.

After that, it was pretty late, and part of the discovery of that old website, was that all of my entries from 2004 to 2002 had their data files stored there, and inside those data files are the time stamps for when they were written, something that has been missing for this entire time. If you go back on this site and view those old entires, you'll notice that each one is just time stamped at midnight, because I had lost the times from before, but now, I can go back and set the times correctly, so they're accurate. I spent the rest of the evening watching a movie, and writing a script that goes through each of those old data files, extracts the time stamp, finds that specific entry in the new system, and then updates the time. So far, I've got it so it can find the correct entry, and it knows the right time, so the next step is to make it actually update the time. I watched the Sorcerer's Apprentice while working on it, and it wasn't too bad of a movie, kinda fun really.

I think that's about all I've got for now. Tomorrow I've got work for the first time in 3 days, so that'll be pretty weird. Hopefully not a bad day, and hopefully I don't feel as shitty as I've been feeling lately.

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