Excessive

I don't know where to start really... I didn't take a sleeping pill, and so I'm not really in writing mode, as generally speaking, being on a sleeping pill enhances my ability to write. I'll try anyway, as I've got to write, so I'll write.

I woke up to rain this morning, which was a nice experience. I remember hearing it earlier in the morning, but it was still raining out as I woke up and laid in bed for a little bit. The windows were open, so I could hear it hitting the roof outside the window.

When I got up, I had some toast and a coffee for breakfast and... uhh... don't really remember what I did. Sat around a bit I guess... talked to people maybe? I dunno... Yeah, exciting writing right?

At around 12:30pm, Nikita sent me a text letting me know she was on her way to pick me up, and we drove to East Side Mario's where we both got pasta and ate a bunch of the bread, and I had a caesar salad to start. It was pretty nice to talk and catch up... I'm not really the best with small talk, or being very good in social situations (sober anyway) but she did most of the talking thankfully. It was nice to kind of break routine but in a safe way, and get out.

After lunch, I kind of realized I was still in the same state of mind as I had been the previous day, feeling low, aimless... depressed, whatever. I knew that if I were to just sit and ... brood... or whatever, I would just get more and more down, so I knew if I made a list of things to do before relaxing, I could maintain at least an average level of comfort, of relaxation, of simply feeling okay.

I got a text from Jeff telling me to stay home tomorrow because last week with the stat holday, we were all supposed to have three days off, but I only got two, so he said I had to make that up this week, so I suddenly had tomorrow off all of a sudden, so certain plans changed, and it kind of felt good.

Considering that I was going to have another day off, and I was running a bit low on food, specifically things like junk food and bread for breakfast, I started my list off by walking to the grocery store, which I did, slowly, listening to the Morning Stream. I picked up a few things, just enough to fit in my backpack, and I made my way home.

Once home, I continued listening to the podcast, put away the groceries, and worked on my list... doing the dishes, cleaning the kitty litter, all the normal fun stuff I always mention when talking about chores. I decided to put off laundry for another day, since I was going to have the day off now, I figured it would be fine to just do it tomorrow afternoon. Once I was finished everything, I figured it was time to eat some dinner, so I made spaghetti and garlic toast, which I ate while watching Star Trek: TNG.

After dinner, I made coffee but before I could pour it, I got a call from Jill, and we ended up talking for about an hour and a half. It was pretty nice to talk, as I rarely get a chance to talk to anyone beyond being at work, and for one reason or another, I was feeling a bit social, like... in the mood to talk. We talked until about 8:30pm, at which point I finally poured a coffee and ate some of my chocolate almond bar and finished the episode of Trek.

Afterward, I went and sat down at the computer, and played some Limbo, but was distracted by the crazy amounts of lightning that were clearing appearing in a patch of clouds right north of my house. It was interesting, because I could see blue sky, but this patch of clouds was just lighting up non-stop, and it was really nice to watch. I just leaned back in my chair with Trentemoller on, and watched.

Eventually I went and played a little bit of Call of Duty: World at War (just one level) and then played a bit of Blue Dragon (just fought crap to get money). It was getting late(ish), around 10pm, so I decided to put on Jimmy and start writing without any sleeping pill, and... this terrible, terrible excuse for writing is the result. I'm sorry...

Ps. I don't think I'm losing weight, like.. I think I would notice, and I'm not that skinny, but my pants don't fit me anymore and I can't wear them without a god damn belt. If I get up from the computer and walk to the kitchen, my jeans literally slide off my hips and will fall off. WTF?

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