Excessive

Last night as I was stumbling to bed, all dizzy from my sleeping pill, I fucking stubbed my toe so hard off a suitcase type travel bag sticking out from underneath the bed. Kind of knocked the wind out of me just because of how unexpected it was, and it hurt sooooo much. I turned the light on, and by this point I'm feeling really out of it from the sleeping pill), and I checked if there was any blood, but there wasn't, so I just went to bed. When I woke up, there was blood at the toenail, and it hurts like a bitch to put my weight down on that foot... it's been so long since I've stubbed my toe, it sucks!

I woke up this morning quite late... I had actually set my alarm for 10am, but slept until 11am, which considering I went to sleep at 2am, was a pretty lengthly sleep. I didn't wake up rested or feeling good, no... that would be just be asking too much, instead I woke up feeling groggy, sore and annoyed.

I pretty much had the entire day planned out in my head as I woke up, and to get it all done, timing was key. I made breakfast when I got up, toast and coffee, as per usual. I took a few minutes to enjoy that and watch Ze Frank before starting my day. I set up Vikar's computer to check out, and at the same time did the dishes, alternating between the two as I lost interest in one or the other. The computer didn't take long, it was just a matter of getting it set up and turned on (that's what she said) but I couldn't really find anything wrong with it, he had ubunto (linux) installed, which caught me a bit off guard, but it's file system and various organization somewhat mirrors my mac, so I checked for problems, found none, so packed it back up and put it back in the mudroom.

I eventually had the dishes done and the kitty litter cleaned, swept, and the place was finally looking clean for the first time in what seemed like a week. Around 2:00pm I got a big load of laundry on and Vikar showed up to pick up his computer and brought me lunch unexpectedly. It was somewhat a weird combination, caesar salad and deep fried fish. I ate one of the pieces of fish and ate most of the salad, it was kind of weird but whatever, it was food and at the time I didn't really have any lunch food. After lunch, I wrote a list and got ready and walked to the grocery store.

It was a pretty nice walk, the weather wasn't too cold and it was nice to get out but not have any strict time limit. I just listened to music and took my time. I picked up some junk food (obviously), some veggies to enjoy with dinner, some eggs and bacon, some spaghetti and a few other things. Again, it was mainly just nice to get out and get some fresh air, I often feel a bit crazy locked up in my house, so walking lets me generally feel a bit more free, even though I think just as much, it feels... different.

Once home I continued to work on my response to an RFP assignment, which is a 2 to 4 page response to a request for proposal. Essentially we pretend to be a company proposing to another company to hire us for something. It wasn't too bad but it was a bit slow going, I was easily distracted and felt antsy. I forgot to mention that between dishes and laundry but before the grocery store I had started working on the assignment. I got a little bit more of it done but was so distracted by other thoughts, that I just gave myself an hour to play a game before I would make dinner. I played two maps of Disgaea 4, and then played Batman: Arkham City, which is really fun. I think it's going to get more and more fun as I get more into it. I've only played it for like... thirty minutes or something, but it's fun having so much stuff to look for and so many reasons to explore the city.

For dinner I really wanted to make something nice, something substantial as it has been a long time since I've done so, or at least it feels that way. Around 6pm I started getting dinner ready, slowly. I had beef tenderloin placed on two grilled portable mushrooms, mashed potatoes, asparagus, green beans and baby carrots. It was wonderful, and just what I needed. I watched an episode of Voyager while eating, and enjoyed a coffee and mars bar afterward.

Once I was finished eating and dessert and relaxing, I decided it was about time to finish that report, so I went in and worked on it until I was done, which took a bit longer than I had hoped. I finished at around 10pm, but I guess it felt good to finish it and actually feel okay with the work I did.

I decided to play some Rocksmith, you know... that guitar game, where you use a real guitar? Did I talk about that yet? I probably should talk about it a bit... maybe later. I played that for about a half hour, until about 10:30pm. I got inspired to play after briefly talking to someone about guitar, and it just made me want to play. My fucking fingers hurt from playing, but... I'm sure I'll get used to that. I played five songs in total, and made some progress, and did better than I've ever done. Right now I'm basically just learning the positions of the frets, like... memorizing where third, fifth, seventh etc, so my hand can just go right there without thinking.

At 10:30pm, I ran a bath and relaxed as I listened to an episode of The Geekbox. It wasn't the longest bath in the world, but it was pretty relaxing. After I got out, I moved my laptop to the living room and watched Boardwalk Empire, you know, that awesome show? Yeah... that one. I moved back into the computer room once it was finished, and now I'm just finishing up this writing and I'll be going to sleep.

I have school tomorrow at 9am so I have to be out of the house by 8am (that means wake up around 7am) so I know I'll be tired because it's already 1:00am. I do stupid things for stupid reasons, but writing an entry is important to me and I guess I'm willing to sacrifice sleep to stick to that.

It's weird, because when I sat down to write I had off-topic stuff to write about. I had things floating in my head that i wanted to spit out through my fingers and into the internet, but somewhere I got off track and just started talking about my day, as I always do. I wanted to write something significant, something of substance and meaning, insightful and interesting. I wanted to comment on life, on humans, on the experience.

People are interesting... life is interesting. You can find inspiration and hope anywhere, usually where you'd never in a million think it would come from. People can still surprise, can still pass any and all expectation, can still prove you wrong and provide interesting challenges.

Maybe I'll have something smart to write tomorrow... maybe I'll be inspired. or inspiring. or something of significance.

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