Excessive

I don't feel good today... I feel angry, slow and tired... irritable and mean, rude and impatient. I feel bad for Bekki for having to put up with me, and I feel responsible for bringing her down as well, I'm like a poison, and I should really know better and perhaps isolate myself when I know that I'm in this kind of mental place. Against my better judgment, I went out shopping today, and while it was okay, and most of it enjoyable, I did feel quite off and not like... super relaxed or anything.

I woke up quite late today, about 11am or so, and felt sore and uncomfortable, felt overslept and groggy... I believe it was the sleeping pill I had taken the night before, and my back hurt from laying for so long, or maybe it was how I was laying, either way I was uncomfortable. Once I was up, I had a bowl of cereal and then a bagel and coffee for breakfast, essentially setting myself up to skip lunch, which I do frequently on days off. I had plans to go out later, so I figured skipping lunch made sense, and it seemed like a good idea.

I spent the afternoon cleaning mostly, breaking a few times to play SSX or just sit at the computer for whatever reason. I did all the dishes and wiped down the counters. I cleaned a couple cat vomit stains on the carpet and cleaned up my scattered clothing. I cleaned the kitty litter, swept and cleaned up the rooms of any clutter.

Before I knew it, it was time to leave for the mall, and meet Bekki on the way, so I went and caught a bus and we went to Masonville.

The first stop was Milestones, a restaurant located in the mall... I had never been before, and I wasn't super hungry, so I just got the chicken caesar salad, and Bekki got the butternut ravioli; both were good, and hit the spot. From there we pretty much browsed the entirety of Zellers, everything everywhere, just looking at stuff and what not. We ended up looking through clothes, and I tried on a bunch of stuff, and walked away with three new pairs of pants (a pair of jeans much like the ones I recently bought.. almost the same, maybe just a wee bit darker) as well as two packs of Hanes white v-neck undershirts (I like small, tight shirts to wear to bed, as well as under my clothes almost every day, so this seemed like a good purchase!). From there we... and I may get the order wrong, so what... we went in Tip Top Tailors where I looked around... they do have a lot of nice sweaters, but they're generally quite expensive, but a scarf caught my eye and I ended up grabbing it because it was on sale.

We left that store and went and got a Cinnabon for dessert, whcih was amazing. It had been a long ass time since I had eaten one, and it was just as awesome as I remember. We decided to leave, but kept getting distracted by stores, and as we passed Coles (you know, that place that sells books) we went in and ended up taking some time to just browse and look at books. Seeing all those books made me think... books are not really the type of thing you can just see and instantly know you'll enjoy because all you have to go by is a title, and a cover or in some cases just a spine. I was thinking, and even said aloud how I find it strange how books generally don't jump out at you and it's impossible to just know if you'd like it right off the bat. As I said that, I walked down an isle and a book just jumped out at me... I'm not sure why really, it was like... fate. I picked it up and it felt nice in my hands... the title... Wildwoods, it seemed interesting and fantastical and fun, and so I read the summary and then noticed the authors name and it said Colin Meloy, and I thought... that's awesome, this guy has the same name as the singer and lyricist from The Decemberists, and I quickly opened the back cover to see the author and sure enough it was him! I love his poetry and lyrics, his themes and his amazing ability to create atmosphere and transport you to a far away place while you are hearing the song. I decided to buy the book on the spot, as soon as I saw that. I read the first chapter so far and it seems like it's going to be really fun to read.

While at the mall I also picked up 12 Monkey's on bluray and four TMNT movies on DVD (they didn't have the bluray version). That's the three live action movies and the newest TMNT computer animated movie.

We made our long trip home, waiting for the bus downtown in Starbucks while I read, and eventually running in to Ray at the bus stop, and catching the Southcrest home for 10pm. Once I got home, we tried on clothes, I had a bath, and eventually put on the Daily Show and Colbert Report for me to write to.

Tomorrow my Mom and Sister are probably going to Zellers to buy and bring home a vacuum cleaner for me (which I'll obviously pay them for). I called my Mom and asked for advice about what I should buy, and she offered to pick it up (since it's hard for me to get home on the bus). That's awesome, and I haven't been able to vacuum my carpets since September, so it will probably make the carpet feel nicer than I realize.

I work tomorrow at 9am, and I'm not sure what's going on, nor do I care very much. I don't want to go to work, and I don't want to take a bus, or wake up, or do anything. Fuck that shit!

I guess that's it for now... I should wind down and get ready for bed. I'm pretty damn tired, and I feel like complete shit.

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