Excessive

I'm married now and I'm back from my honeymoon. Followers on Facebook will see hundreds of photos posted, and if you are reading this in the future and Facebook is no longer around, then you're probably like, "what the hell is that" in which case, you suck. I do want to create my own website to host all my photos, but right now it's nothing but a spark of an idea in my head somewhere, and I've no real plans of making it a reality at this point.

Anyway, it's hard to decide what to write, in fact, it's quite difficult finding any time or motivation to write, as at this point, I have little time or energy to do much of anything.

Our wedding went perfectly, from what I remember. When I say I don't remember it all, it's not because it was bad or because I don't want to remember it, but I was on such a nerve-high, so anxious about setting it up, making sure the music was perfect, making sure everyone arrived, making sure dinner was good, making the rounds to talk to everyone, and not messing up my vows and what not, that it put me in a state of mind where time flew by, and as the next few days went by, it almost felt like a dream. I remember it, generally speaking, but it does have an almost other-worldly feel to it, but I remember being happy in the most purest of senses. I had no worries, to doubts, no issues, I was just purely happy for that day, and I didn't have a knot in my stomach (that normally never seems to go away), I remember it just being the happiest I've ever been.

The honeymoon followed (with a one day gap) where we headed to Vancouver Island for four days and Vancouver for two, where we spent in a really nice hotel, went hiking, went sight seeing, aquariums, parks, zoos, and lots of other stuff. I could write more specifically about each thing, but not tonight, perhaps not every here on this website, but there are thousands of photos documenting the trip.

Now that we're home, I'm finding it difficult to get back into some kind of routine. Getting back to work was okay, although I find it difficult to be as committed, but maybe that's not the worst thing, and once home from work, I'm so deliriously tired that I can't focus or concentrate on anything, can't get excited or into anything, and I just kind of sit, wishing and hoping that I'd get to enjoy something, but usually time just seems to float on, and before I know it, it's time to go to sleep to repeat it all the next day.

I need to figure out what I'm doing. I need to come up with a plan, a way to force routine and to feel some kind of satisfaction with my time off, because I feel like I'm getting ripped off, I feel sad and upset that I'm not feeling any relaxation, not feeling like I'm getting any kind of recreational satisfaction.

It's my birthday next week, doesn't seem important.

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