Excessive

I can't stand this; I can't stand the dread I feel inside me. I don't want to go to work tomorrow, I don't want the seconds to go by, the minutes and the hours. I just want time to stand still, and even then, I don't want to be trapped here anymore. I hate how I feel, and what I look forward to. I hate where I've been and what I've done and what's been done to me. I hate not wanting to close my eyes for fear that I may fall asleep.

I lay in bed and I feel alone. I lay beside Linzie and I feel alone. I feel empty inside like there's something important missing. I crave a connection. A connection of any kind... that's why I have so much trouble being alone, because there is a lack of connection-ing. Each individual relationship has a unique connection between the two people and it's that connection that makes me feel safer; no safe, just safer than when I'm alone.

but I still feel scared. I feel alone. I feel empty. I don't want tomorrow to come... and what options does that leave me?

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