Excessive

I'm not sure if I've mentioned it enough for people to remember but I've stated that I've been messing around with layouts for pages and stuff lately, and I finished another one tonight, and I think it's alright, not the best I've ever done of course.. but it was a good distraction for the most part.. for the five minutes it distracted me. You can of course check it out and leave a comment to let me know how it looks. Here's the link: clickity click.

Including goblins raiding my anus, everything seems damp and decomposing as of late. Usually I can bounce back from these reaccuring events; ignore them and go on, but I seem to be having a harder time this time around. I feel sad all the time and I can't seem to get myself to do anything, or be happy about anything... I just have this lingering fear floating over me that at any time, any day now I could be abandonded all together, and I'm terrified. I just wish I could forget everything and smile, like every other time.. maybe Marle will help me (she's right behind me, twitching no less, but asleep). I just seem to be having a harder time recovering is all... That's not to say that I am incapable of being happy or smiling, I'm just saying that when I'm left to my own devices, whether it be because Emily went out, or to sleep, or the cats went to the store etc., I can't help but get down and go back to bad thoughts all the time... I'm finding it harder to distract myself in order words, I suppose.

America's Next Top Model was on tonight, and oh man did the end piss me off. Everyone knows that hideous Brandi shouldn't have even made it past the first second of the show (planes could fly through the god damn gap in her teeth) but with her giant attitude, bitchy problem, there is no way the judges should have let her through, and sent the genuinly pretty girl go home. No only did both of the idiot girls make it through, but they barely focused on the actual pictures taken and it just went by muuuch too quickly. I suppose that's because there are so many girls to focus on, but they could have at least focused on MY favorites! I mean come on! Naimi and Kahlen (said like Caitlen without the T) roxxor my asscrack so hard, and I refuse to put that Brandi girl on my webspace, but I'll link to an externally hosted file. clickity clickaroo.

Kahlen (innocent, girl next door) and Naima (non-butch mohawk, unique)

I've been playing a little bit (nothing compared to my usual obbsessive constant-playing you're used to) of Super Mario RPG, which I've played through many a time, naturally. I've actually started it about three times now because for some reason it's screwing up the saving process and it says that it's saved, but I guess it's having problems writing to the actual save file on the harddrive, but I can't see why as it's not set as read-only and it doesn't happen every time, just at random times.. so now I'm in the habit of saving state at each save point, along with normal saving, because I don't like to save state, as I see it as cheating, since the game was not meant to be played that way. I don't play every day, as I don't even feel happy when I play games anymore, so I don't really find myself playing anything for longer than a half hour now, just because it feels so empty and I feel guilty for some reason.

I guess the last thing to mention is that I got a job. Stream called me today and asked me if I was still interested in obtaining the full time position with them. So he told me about my hours, dress code, benifits and other than that, nothing, so I won't really find out much until my first shift. Some of da perks about having this job:

$10/hour - 40 hour weeks.

Full benifits after 90 days, that includes: health, dental, optical, and whores.

2 paid 15 minute breaks, 1 30 minute unpaid lunch.

A breakroom with a big TV, computers, phones, music, a couch...

and more probably...

I guess that's it for now because I'm starting to get a headache (what else is new) and I should probably attempt to wind down to go to sleep soon. I've got to make a doctors appointment tomorrow... and, who knows what else I'll do tomorrow; maybe feel good?

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