Excessive

Today was pretty short.. for some reason, someone took some hours out of it and it only lasted a few, rather than the full amount. I wonder where they went... I woke up early; I couldn't sleep last night, and I woke up every hour or so, eventually waking up at 8:30am or so, and the curtain was open in our room, and the sun was shining in on my face, which was nice, but it also confused the hell out of it because it was only 8:30am and it looked like it was 12 or something because of how bright it was. Where was I? Hmm... anyway, I got out of bed, barely awake, and made a pot of coffee, drank coffee, almost fell asleep on the couch and then stumbled back to bed. I don't remember how long I slept for... or when I got back up, or what I did really when I got up.

I spent the first part of my waking day, playing Super Mario Sunshine... I remember that much.. I have around 33 shines now, about half way to where I was before, and I'm not getting bored or anything, sitll having lots of fun. At some point while I was playing Super Mario Sunshine, Ally called and talk to Emily and asked her to dye her hair, and decided to come over here to do it. Okay, starting from when Ally got here, to when she left, I pretty much played Disgaea the entire time... about 6 hours. Oh such fun... such... fun! I just keep playing and playing and I don't seem to get bored, there is just so much to do. I'm no where near finishing.. not even a quarter way through I bet.. I could probably play the same save file for the rest of my entire life! I just keep thinking of things to do and stuff... oh my lord I love it.

Usually when people come over, or I go over to someones house, and it doesn't involve drinking, or partying in various other ways, because otherwise I get very nervous, I have panic attacks, I never have anything to say to anyone; ever. I just don't really like being around people that much, it's as simple as that, and it's not neccessarily a bad thing, or something I wish to improve. Anyway, by the end of the night I was actually enjoying myself and felt comfortable, I was laughing and smiling and stuff. It was a good time. Ya know, they just did their thing, and I did mine, but we still hung out and talked and joked. I played a lot of Disgaea, something I probably would've done even if Ally hadn't come over.

Emily and I saw Garden State last night, and I very much enjoyed it. It connected to my life in so many ways I was astounded, and the soundtrack kept me smiling the whole time. Zach Braf is now my god. It was just an overall magical, amazing and 'on another level' movie, that only a few select people will really, really 'get' and for those people, if you don't see this movie, you'll never know you aren't alone. I loved it, and I plan to download it ASAP. It just had so many truths, so many things you could apply to your own life... in fact, one of the lines he said was a direct quote from MY life, something I had said, and thought. It was strange... the damn movie was like my journal or something... except Natalie Portman.. she wasn't in my journal :P

I guess that's all I really have to talk about tonight. I'm actually feeling pretty sick, and I'm worried about a few things, some stress is returning to me and I'm not dealing with it very well... I've been having bad thoughts lately, things I shouldn't be thinking. I hope I feel better soon... I'll just hide inside Disgaea for awhile. It's quite the comforting little device!

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