September 14, 2004 12:32PM
No Subject
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| michelle's hair from behind |
That's all I've felt lately, nothing but frustration with everything. You name it, it's driving me nuts. I can't think, I can't act, I can't speak, I can't express myself. Look at this fucking entry! There are so many incorrect sentances, periods everywhere, holy crap!! I just can't get anything out correctly and it drives me even more nuts!! I don't think there is a specific thing causing all of this frustration, but I can't seem to figure out what to do to stop it or at least lower it a bit. I've tried playing games, but shit like dying randomly for no reason, or losign save games keeps happening and it drives me even more insane than I already feel. I try eating candy and junk food and it only makes me feel sick or hurts my tongue or something else, and I can't enjoy it. What the hell is going on!? Nothing seems to be working for me lately...
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| my.beautiful.girls.smiling |
The night started by Michelle bringing us sandwhiches from work, all egg salad, which wasn't exactly what we ordered... having ordered chicken salad, the egg was quite the surprise; so much so that Emily didn't want to eat hers, but I love egg salad, and it totally slipped my mind that it was even an option, so I was actually pleasently surprised, and happily ate Emilys, which for some reason, two sandwhiches didn't even fill me up... I dunno...didn't make sense to me, but I was still hungry afterwards. Now, the most important thing that to mention is how much thanks I have for Michelle for making us these sandwhiches, for stealing them and putting her heart into making them! It was very, very nice of her and I really appreciate it, especially considering how much I value food, especially free food, as food is a limited subustance around here.
After the eating finished, I put on the movie Haggard, the Bam Margera film, which I've probably mentioned on this site somewhere, at least once. We watched most of it, but Jess and Michelle weren't really enjoying it, most likely because their sense of huimour didn't match that of Bam and his gang, which is understandable, I suppose it is an aquired taste. After turning that off, I decided to show the girls Bam in his real enviroment; I put on Viva La Bam, episode one, and we watched that and they actually enjoyed it a bit, as noted by their laughter and such. Oh how I love Bam.. *swoons* I plan on watching the rest of the episodes soon because I haven't seen them in awhile, and I love them so. Perhaps I will force Emily to watch through them with me.
Once we had finished watching Bam, Michelle and Jess played Smackdown for awhile, and I watched for a bit, until I was too distracted by my desire to play ff3j, to which I could no longer resist. The majority of the nightw as me playing Final Fantasy 3j, Emily switching between MSN, watching the girls play or other random things, like picking clothes out, and Michelle and Jess spent the night playing Smackdown and Vice City, both for PS2, only to take a short break and try to play Super Mario Sunshine for GCN. I guess theren't much else to mention about the night, as that's mostly what it consisted of, but perhaps it's that simplicity that makes it so enjoyable. The company, the genuin enjoyment of it all... Hopefully they'll be back for the same thing within a few days :)
When the girls left the next morning (this morning) to leave for school, I got sad because after such a nice night being surrounded by my best friends, I was suddenly very, very alone. I decided that I should just sleep away the pain, to which I did.. until 2:30pm! I awoke groggy and uncomfortable (as I guess sleeping that long will do to you) and decided to just clean up first. I cleaned up the room and then did all the dishes, straightened the bath mats and stuff.. and finally just sat down and turned on FF3j for a bit, when Emily walked in. That was may day. haha. Wow, I'm such a loser.. I sleep too much too dammit. After Emily came home, I started to feel kinda sick and depressed, for unknown reasons, just part of this stupid being frustrated with everything... and I layed down and she played Final Fantasy 8, and I fell asleep almost instantly. I slept again, for more hours, until around 6 I think, and I awoke to a very, very bad mood. I couldn't stand to be in my room, so i got my shoes on, and Emily joined me as I went to the mall. I did what I always do when I'm feeling depressed... I bought a shit load of chips, pop and candy. That was about it, save for a few sandwhich products, but I grabbed my crap and we went back home and made supper.. hotdogs and frenchfrieds (yes, we're classy.. lick my ass) and settled on the bed and Emily played Final Fantasy 8 some more.
That brings me to now pretty much. Emily has gone to bed, and I'm feeling very pissed off and disappointed because of my save game loss, and I'm attempting to write because I know there are tons of people just waiting for me to update. Just today, over 50 people came here to find that it hasn't been updated... kinda makes me feel pressured to write as I don't want to disappoint my loyal fans!! But I guess that's about all I have for tonight... I'm off to decide what to do with my ff3j and... I'll keep you updated. If you ask really nicely, I might just try to start updating each and every night! Fancy that! Night my peeps.
this is me starting a new game, a few minutes after I finished this entry.. click to view enlarged shots
1366 words
3 Comments
Timeline
- I lived with Ben on Cartier
- I was with Emily
3 Comments
January 01, 2000
I know all too well the feeling of frustration at losing progress in a game. Today I went to play Chrono Cross and I can't find my memory card anywhere. So either I start playing something else or I start all over again... its really very discouraging
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January 01, 2000
aww, thanks for letting us stay over. i love hanging out with you guys, you make me feel at home. and i wouldnt trade it for anything. not even for a hello kitty purse, and i love those!
January 01, 2000
I read your journal don't think I'm a stalker you're just interesting. Sorry about your game :( . And I wish ya would update more I'm a loser and have nothing better to do :X
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