Excessive

I wasn't going to write today... errr.. tonight... mainly because I spent the last 10 hours working on a C++ project... a DateTime class that basically handles conversions between Julian Date Numbers and Gregorian Calendar dates. It's extremely complicated, frustrating, countless issues, non-stop anger... ugh. Today has been an interesting up and down experience, and I'm going to bed on quite a down note, which is... so fucking retarded.

I woke up late again today, something that happens way too often, but waking up is this impossible process of rolling over without waking up, or just feeling so shitty that at that very second, staying in bed seems like a survival instinct. I had to be at school by 10am for a math unit test, which was worth a lot, but missing databases from 8am to 10am wasn't a big deal, so I guess that's why it was easier to sleep in today. Funny enough, database was canceled this morning, so I actually didn't end up missing anything, and got to school on time to go into math, and I was one of the first to arrive.

School hasn't been going that well, it's difficult to focus and get ahead on assignments and studying when I work over 80 hours per pay period, and spend almost all my time at home trying to recover from the physical and mental exhaustion of just being at work. I'm worried about school... it is something I worry about... more and more as each day goes by. What the fuck am I doing?

After school, Calen, Mathew and I drove to EBGames to browse games... you know... for funs. Calen had to fill out some forms at the post office, so Mathew and I looked at all the games. We spent about thirty minutes there and I walked out with God of War 3, Prince of Persia and Tales of Vesperia (all about $20 or less). From there we drove to the Golden Griddle for breakfast, which was good. I had a spinach, mushroom and swiss omelette, with a side of bacon, hash browns, rye toast and coffee. I enjoyed the meal, and I paid for Mathew's food because it came to around $14 or $15 and that's about how much he was wanting to sell his copy of God of War collection for, so I said sure, and that's how me made the transaction.

After Golden Griddle, we drove to Best Buy, for some reason I always spend money with those guys, but... I never do, so it feels nice sometimes, but I generally always get buyers remorse right away, which isn't a nice feeling. At Best Buy we browsed for a bit and I ended up buying Rocksmith, which Kyle was going on about for the last few days. You plug your real guitar into your console and that's how you play... it's like Guitar Hero, or Rock Band, but with a real guitar, and it (kinda) essentially teaches you how to play. I've owned guitars for a long ass time and tried to learn like three times, and never got very good or far into lessons, so maybe this will be what finally gets me in to it, you know... if I ever had time to play anything. I also bought Gears of War 3, because I loved the Gears games, and because Calen and Mathew kept bugging me about not having it, so I had to.

Once I got home, Kyle came over to restring my Fender, and tune it... thanks Kyle.

After he left, I sat down... it was about 3:00pm or so, maybe earlier... I honestly don't remember. I worked on my C++ project from that time, until about thirty minutes ago. I got so frustrated with the difficulty and complexity of the requirements that I actually yelled out loud, punched the table, and just screamed... more than once. I'm so stressed out already, when adding this project on top of that, it's just driving me crazy.

I got a bit of it done... it's actually really difficult to tell how much is done and how much is left to do, because as you go to add new things, it usually breaks old things, or shows you ways that the original way you had things working doesn't actually work at all, so... I was getting so tired that nothing was making much sense, and I was having trouble figuring things out, like even what section of code I was working in. I stopped and decided to just continue tomorrow.

There are other things affecting me today, but I'd rather not write about it. Instead I'll bury it down and it'll hurt me later. Sweet!

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