Excessive

What is happiness to me? Is happiness an absence of unhappiness? The absence of a specific list of things that upset you? or is it more than that? Happiness to me... happiness... Happiness is a brief moment that's followed by a much longer down swing. Happiness is romance, is knowing what someone is thinking and liking it, happiness lies in believing in love.

Sadly most those can cause some severe problems too.

Happiness is always a by-product. It is probably a matter of temperament, and for anything I know it may be glandular. But it is not something that can be demanded from life, and if you are not happy you had better stop worrying about it and see what treasures you can pluck from your own brand of unhappiness.
~Robertson Davies

It's weird because I know that I have interesting things in my head, things that I could translate in to written words; I have things in my head that I consantly go over to myself, I essentially write rough drafts in my head, all day, it's just always going. I think about interesting things to write, I think of intelligent and passionate ways to write about such things, and some of it is important, some of it could lead to insight into myself, but when it becomes time to sit down and write, I draw a blank. I end up writing in circles, making a fool of myself. I want to be significant, meaningful. I want to matter, I want to be worth sacrificing for, I want to be something.

Man is fond of counting his troubles, but he does not count his joys. If he counted them up as he ought to, he would see that every lot has enough happiness provided for it.
~Fyodor Dostoevsky

I torture myself, for whatever reasons.

Happiness to me is having nothing to write about.

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