Excessive

Today has been a long and tiring day of work, bad news, headaches, feeling like shit, and all that fun stuff. Not only that but I spent the morning reading old entries and wishing I still had the ability to form well written sentences that sounded good and conveyed ideas and concepts. I used to be a good writer, and I wonder how many times I've written entries talking about how I wished I could write like I used to, but here I go again, repeating myself, again and again.

My legs are sore, I have a headache all over, but a little bit worse in my front-left part of my head, my knees are aching, my back is sore and I feel like I'm on fire all over, and I'm sweaty, but I also feel like I have a chill. I've had a headache for about a day and a half, and it's not going away. It's making everything uncomfortable, and I'm fairly miserable because of it.

We went ahead and bought a bed yesterday, along with all of the bedding for it - minus a set of pillows which we'll go back for later in the week when we have some time. We purchased a king size mattress and box-spring set, a wooden bed frame with headboard; those purchases were on a Leon's no payments for two years plan, so that works out to a manageable monthly payment that we'll set aside ourselves so we can pay it off in time. After work Bekki came and picked me up and we went shopping for bedding. We tried a few stores but ended up at Sears, and picked up pretty much the nicest sheets available, which were fairly neutral colors - a 600 thread count Egyptian cotton sheet set that includes a fitted sheet, normal sheet and two pillow cases, and these are greyish almost, it's kind of a hard color to describe, but there will eventually be pictures. On top of the sheet set, we bought a white duck feather down duvet (king size), which alone was quite expensive, and then bought a 600 thread count, dark greenish/blueish duvet cover, which also came with two sham covers. That just leaves two nice feather king size pillows that we want to get, and the bed will be finished! Well... I am considering keeping an eye out for a similar colored or matching throw blanket that could keep us warm on especially cold nights, but that's only if a) we are freezing and we need to find something or b) I'm in the store and it catches my eye.

We've already set the duvet up on the small bed we have now and it's amazing! I'm so excited to have this new bed I can't even compare it to anything in recent memory. We've already figured out how to re-arrange the things in the room to make it fit comfortably, and I think it's going to work out really nicely. I'm eager and excited to start organizing and getting things set up, even though the bed is going to take four to six weeks to be delivered, I feel that time is okay, and that the time will give us a chance to sort through things and clean, move things, just ease into it, and I'm looking forward to the process.

I woke up with a pretty bad headache this morning, which is the second full day of having a headache, which is probably one of the worst things in my life... like if you asked me... what would be the worst day for you, that's generally realistic and possible, I'd answer... having a headache all day. It's terrible, and I hate it, and I feel like shit and I can't be as productive, and I can't relax, do anything that makes me feel good, and everything is a god damn fucking battle to just feel okay.

Everything is just a god damn battle to just feel okay.

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