Excessive

I've been trying really hard the past hour or so trying to figure out exactly what it is that's wrong with me. Why can't I look out the window at night without my stomache dropping and feeling more scared than any other time in my life. Why am I scared to be alone? Why can't I feel safe anywhere but under a hundered blankets, hidden somewhere in a room. I'm scared to make the trip from the couch to the living room.. a deep fear, right inside of my chest.. I don't know why, I just don't know why.

When did this all begin? I don't remember being so scared of being alone. I guess I just need that security and comfort of knowing there is someone to cuddle into when I do feel that fear, but the feeling I get when I know there is no one to go to when I do, it just feels so empty.

Is it even possible to overcome such a fear? Will time make me tougher? I sure hope so... I want to be self-sufficient and independant. You can't rely on anyone but yourself. Nothing will last forever I suppose, even if you want it to. No matter what they say... even if they tell you they'd never leave you, that you'd never be alone... you always end up alone.

I'm so sad, alone and scared of everything. I don't see how I can survive, mentally, physically... financially. Oh dear. Things aren't looking very good.

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