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Writing Photography Rambling

September 08, 2004 5:16PM

So Much, So Little

There are a few specific things I want to cover in this entry, since I haven't written one in a few days, I'm getting quite behind and it'll be harder and harder to remember or bring myself to write as time moves on, so I'm going to sit down and try to force some writing out. As I've mentioned time and time again, over and over again, I've been having such a hard time writing lately; such a hard time getting it out of my thick skull and giant noggin, nothing seems to come out when I turn on the tap. There is so much built up inside me, I'm quite certain it's driving me insane. Everything bottled up inside, wanting to come out but having no way to travel... ugh, it's difficult to deal with. Clouds my mind... everything gets in the way and I can't really grasp on to one single thing... I kinda just get a handfull of stuff that all comes out at once and makes no sense...which obviously can cause some problems (for example the first draft of this damn entry)... well, without further delay...

On Saturday, Teresa held a party or 'gathering' whatever you want to call it, at her house, to say goodbye to the summer and hello to their new school year. From what I understood, this was going to be one of our normal gatherings, my girls, sitting around etc.. but I was wrong... so very wrong. There were tons of people there... there were my girls, and then there were these bunch of people no one really knew, who Teresa spent every second of her night with, never saying hi to us, which created some resentment and anger in almost everyone. People consantly badmouthed other people, threw rocks at the door, threw rocks at each other, made people cry, made kevin run upstairs a couple times, which was midly entertaining.
Why the hell were we at Teresas if we didn't even get to hang out with her? I saw her a total of three times or something, and each time I saw her she looked at me like, "what the hell are you doing here?" and I was very angry. Anyway... The first three quarters of the night really sucked. So many people were assholes, and some girl was a complete bitch to me and I wanted to punch her in the throat, but I thought that it would probably be frowned upon, so I resisted the urge; however, after her insults, Michelle and I and Emily walked to Macs to get some junk food to cheer ourselvevs up, which helped a little bit. Generally speaking if I'm near Michelle or Emily I get in a better mood, and since I was near both of them at the same time, I did a pretty good job at getting in a better state of mind, but I really did want to punch that bitch in the throat. I hung out with Kimmy though, which was cool, although I think I annoyed her for the most part, but I had been drinking a little and I thought we were getting a long great but I could be totally wrong, and most likely am... she probably hates me now, which I really don't want cause I like Kimmy a lot. Also, I got to watch Emily and Michelle go nuts dancing to funny music, like the spice girls, thriller and other stuff, which was probably the best part of the entire night. They were so unbelievably cute, the way Michelle kept trying to instruct Emily, "just don't care!" haha, oh man, I want to get that on video!! It made me smile so much. The party was a bust, and I hope to never repeat it... it was nice to see everyone, but sucked that everyone were such dicks. I ended up sleeping on the couch and leaving the next morning.

.a.beautiful.creature.
Now I'll skip ahead to Monday night. Monday night was the night before school started, and Michelle and Jess came over for a super deluxe slumber party! We played games, watched Raw, bought junk food, laughed, smiled... I loved it. Michelle and Jess played some matches of Smackdown for PS1, which is an old game, but the only wreslting game I have, so while outdated, they still enjoyed a few rounds (when they weren't yelling at each other for punching one another haha) and once they had enough of Smackdown, I got them to play a few matches of Tekkn 4, one of the greatest fighters ever, which I assume they enjoyed enough as they played it for more than one round. Once they were finished playing the games, it was about time for Raw to come on, so we flipped it to the right channel and got comfortable as we all watched it and laughed and smiled and giggled and Jess made jokes about JR and various other stars, and it was fun. Halfway through or so, Michelle, Emily and myself walked to Macs Milk to buy us all lots of junkfood for our slumber party, and Jess stayed home so she could see all of Raw instead of missing it. I hadn't watched Raw in a year or more, because I stopped watching it completely when Linzie left me, so I had no idea what was going on, but enjoyed to find Triple H back to his badass self, with sledgehammer and all, which is a giant bonus, since that was always my favorite thing to watch on Raw hehe. At the moment I can't think of words or write the way i feel about how much I enjoyed the sleepover, but it was unbelievable and I'd love to do it every week. There is just something so peaceful, relaxing, calming and nice about lounging around with bestfriends, just.. relaxing and feeling comfortable... *sigh* I want it everyday. Michelle is so sweet, kind and loving and Jess is so cute, fun and shy (like me! that's why I love it!) and I just love them both. They all got ready for school in the morning, getting all pretty (which isn't very difficult for my three girls) and did their make up and stuff... naturally I took some pictures, however, since it wasn't light out yet, the lightning sucks, which means the quality of the pictures suck, so don't complain, you barely deserve to see such pretty sights. You'll just have to trust me when I say all three of them were so beyond beautiful. Emily was wearing lots of black and purple, a nice long classic skirt and it made her look very conserved, very.. I'm Emily. You don't know me!!.. kind of atttiude. Jess was wearing a green salsa skirt, that's really pretty, and she matched it up with a tie and a stewie shirt (from Family Guy you idiots) and it looked so good, and she seemed very happy too, which made her even more attractive as well. Michelle was wearing a slightly short cut pinstriped skirt, a dress shirt and knee high socks / leg warmers. She looked GREAT, to say the least. *drools all over my girls* I'm so lucky.



Since Emily is at school for a few days now, she's tired after school, which means we really don't get to spend a lot of time together, which really sucks...especially since we've spent so much time together recently, with us both being off for the summer and always being home... but it's given me a lot more time to play Final Fantasy... hehe. I played Final Fantasy 6 for about two and a half hours today when I woke up, and... right out of nowhere, the power went out, and I lost all my progress... I was upset... angry even.. that I had lost that time. I turned it off... and I played Final Fantasy 4, and actually made quite a bit of progress, and it's lots of fun! I'll go back to playing Final Fantasy 6 until I'm finished it, but probably not today, since that loss of power was extremely discouraging. I'm about nine hours into Final Fantasy 4, and currently my party is made up of: Cecil, Kain, Cid, Rosa and Yang, which is actually quite a powerful party... and I've also just recently come to realize how much I despise Tellah, both as a character and as an actual party member.. I'm glad the fucker died like a fucking cock sucker. I'll most likely keep you updated on my progress through the game.. right now I'm just about to gather the dark crystals in the underground.

My Mom took me out shopping for laundry detergent Tuesday afternoon, and she also picked up a new laundry basket for me, a pack of Coke and a couple other random things, but it was really nice to spend some time with her... she's awesome. You will never meet a nicer person anywhere, more deserving of respect and admiration. When I got home I did a load of laundry... the pillow cases and the towels, and once those were in the dryer, I threw in the basket of clothes we had accumilated over time. The only thing I can say about the laundry is... oh.. my.. god.. It smells so fresh and good.. I LOVE Tide Lemon Fresh. Seriously. If Tide was a woman, I'd have sex with it. I want to wash everything imaginable with it now, like my cats. I'm thinking about washing the bedding, as one of the comforters has cat pee on it, but I'm not sure if it'll fit in the washing machine and wash, or fit in the dryer, and actually dry in time, so I don't have to spend extra money on it. My Mom told me to try it, just once at least, so I may just do that soon enough. Monday during the day I spent the entire time from wake to almost sleep cleaning the place. I washed the bathroom floor by hand, washed the countertop, sink, mirrior, toilet and bathtub, all with comet or other respective cleaning products, I also replaced the bathroom mats. I cleaned the kitchen, the counters, the stove top, the microwave, the toaster oven, and did all the dishes I could find. I also swept and vacumed the floors and mats. I also picked up all the crap on the living room floor, which took a very long time, then vacumed it, which also took a long time but hurt my back. I eventually go back to my room, at which point te rest of the apartment was sparkling because it was so clean, and I commenced cleaning on my room, which took awhile, but was finished. Now the apartment is clean and so is my room, all thanks to a burst of energy. I'll keep it this way, so long as I'm allowed to.

Emily's first few days of highschool have gone great for her (or so she says) and that's really an awesome thing, as it's a new school and a lot of new people, but she has some amazing friends helping her through it as well, friends who stick by her even when stupid people try to get them to NOT stick by her. I'm glad everything is working out for her. I remember what highschool was like for me, especially the earlier years. Oh how I loathed everyone and everything. I hated the people there, I hated the classes there, I hated the rules and everything in between. I liked staying home.. yes, I liked that a lot. I just hope Emilys experience at Clarke Road is better than mine, but from the sound of things, and the experiences of other people than just myself, it should be a fine time indeed. I talked Emily into taking a Programming course, which is awesome, because not only does it make you think and use your brain in differeny ways that you'd never have thought of in the first place, but it'll be a great experience for her as a whole I think, and naturally, I can help her along the way.

On a completely different note, don't you hate it when you think you know someone, you respect them, kinda nod your head and smile when you think of them or someone mentions them (and I mean, you'd probably even go to some length to defend them if needed), and then, out of no where really, they turn out to be immature, hyporcritical cunts? Yeah.. get's on my nerves too. but oh well, nothing you can do except tell them to go fuck yourself. Oh, and you probably think im talking about you.. get over yourself. I'm not.


this picture was taken on april 22, 2004. funny how much i've changed

2140 words

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3 Comments

Dylan
January 01, 2000
Your last paragraph, that's how I feel right now with people I know. Sometimes I feel as if I hadn't known them at all or at least that I am ever deepening my rut. What exactly do I mean by that? I mean that the more I see the space between us widen, t
Emily
January 01, 2000
I just wanted to thank you, Kitty. Not only do I have awesome friends at school supporting me and helping me to classes and stuff (cough Jenny and Michelle cough), but I have awesome YOU to come home to. You've helped me an unbelievable amount with everyt
Sarah
January 01, 2000
Awwwww! I love that pic. It wasn't that long ago, but you seem so much more growed up now ... *sniff*

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