September 08, 2002 4:17PM
Lack of Updates
Sorry for the lack of updates but I actually have a good excuse this time... it'll be explained below.
Okay Thursday night (or early Friday morning) I woke up.. at around 1:30am if I remember correctly and I was feeling quite sick. Actually I guess it starts before that. Thursday was the first day that Linzie had to go to the fair for training/working so I was alone for the whole afterschool to the morning period. So anyway when I got home from school I got very tired (which isn't that unusual) and I fell asleep. Around 6pm my Mom woke me up with supper (a bowl of rice and a salad) but when I tried to eat it I felt really sick and I just couldn't force myself to eat it. I went back to sleep pretty much right away and didn't wake up until 1:30am like I mentioned before. So when I got up and was feeling sick I eventually went upstairs and repeatedly dry heaved in the bathroom. Now memory DOESN'T do it justice but dry heaving IS one of the most painful things. Like.. if I think back to it it doesn't seem that bad but when I was going through it... I just remember thinking Man I wish I was dead right now. It truely was horrible.
This sickness went on and on and when I get sick (ie. vomiting) and when I have a fever I tend (or always) get really emotionally unstable so I was freaking out and crying and I really wanted to talk to Linzie just because she's always done a great job at comforting me. So I calmed myself down and called her house. Her dad answered and I told him that I was sorry for calling so late and that I needed to talk to Linzie and it was important so he went and woke her up and put her on the phone and I basically cryed to her as I tried to tell her that I was sick. I calmed down and eventually let her get back to sleep and spent the rest of the night feeling soooo neusious (or however you spell it fuck you!) and headachy and fevery... it just sucked complete.. um.. something obsene. At one point I went upstairs to my Mom's room and looked in and said Mom? but she didn't answer so I just went back downstairs. I don't know why I didn't wake her up but I just didn't. That was before I called Linzie.
At around 5 or 6am I went and got dressed just because I needed to do something to get my mind off of my sickness. I also painted my nails. Linzie came over early for breakfast and... okay. I'm going to just stop writing lots of details for this part. I'm just gonna be quick about it because one I don't really remember it that clearly and two because I just don't feel like writing that much. Alright here we go. After Linzie came over we went to school (I wasn't sure if I should because I really was sick and dizzy and shit) but I really didn't want to miss a class especially this early so I just sucked it up and went to school but when I was sitting there in first period I couldn't think I couldn't write I couldn't even sit comfortably so I just had to get up and sign out.
When I got home my Mom came down and more or less lectured me about nutrition and how I was killing myself by not eating 25 servings of healthy things each day. She thinks I do it on purpose or something. I just eat what's easy to cook... Anyway she said that she's gonna stop buying me Coke and Chips each week unless I start eating better (she thinks that the reason I was throwing up was becuase I don't eat healthy which COULD have been the cause but it sure as hell wasn't this time. I NEVER eat healthy right? So wouldn't I always be throwing up? I dunno this was just some random stomach bug.. I thought that much was evident... oh well.. Hopefully she will see how much I genuinly look forward to my Coke and Chips each week and will realize that it isn't all that bad. I REALLY am trying to eat better. I eat a breakfast and lunch and supper everyday.. That's three times better than how I ate last year. I used to only eat one meal a day last year now I eat three! That's much better in my opinion. Anyway after my Mom was done making me feel like shit for being sick I thought about what she did for a bit and then decided that I wasn't just going to lay there and take it this time. I got up and went upstairs and pretty much just exploded. I'm not going to go into detail about what I said to her because thats really not any of your business but I pretty much told her that she never comforts me ever she always finds the negative things in what I do (like if I had an 80 on my report card and a 54 she'd never tell me good work for the 80). We talked for a bit after I was crying a whole bunch and then I just went back downstairs.
After that I went to sleep. Lots of sleep. The entire day actually. I slept from I dunno... 10 or 11am that day until 10am the next day. I got for a few minutes around 12:30am that night when Linzie came over to give me two Blaster The Rocket Boy cd's from Ian and then I went and layed back down and fell back asleep. So obviously that whole time I didn't eat. Also during the night the power went out momentarily thus causing rogers to disconnect me from the internet for 2 days. That's the real reason why I didn't update. So HAH! You bastards yelling at me cause I don't update that's why! THAT's WHY!!!
So Saturday morning I was still feeling like shit and couldn't stomach anything. Blah blah blah and some more blah. Saturday was Agression at the Embassy (12 bands playing! Including Jersey and Alexis on Fire!) so I asked my Mom for money (because she wasn't going to be buying me coke) and she gave me some (thankfully). So I called Ben and arranged for a ride to the Embassy at around 7 because the doors opened (or should have) at 7:30. Owen also informed me that he'd meet us down there cause he got off work a few hours early to go see the show. So things were looking good even though I was sick. I wore my spiderman outfit as mentioned a few entries ago.. the one that got me so much attention.
The whole time I was there EVERYONE that I passed had something to say about my clothes. Probably about 6 or 7 people asked where I bought it 4 or 5 people just did Spiderman webshooting actions at me. One guy was wearing a Venom shirt (the huge enemy of spiderman) and when we first saw him Owen was pushing me towards him yelling Fight him! FIGHT HIM! which made me feel weird cause I hate attention but I guess Owen doesn't know that so I wasn't mad or anything I just wanted to go stand against the wall again. Anyway the guy in the venom shirt got the joke and laughed back at us and his friends thought it was the funniest thing in the world.
The bands were pretty good. At one point our whole group (It was Ben Owen Ally Jay Jay and Ally's friend.. I don't remember his name.. he was cool though!) we all went over to across the street from the embassy pizza and got pizza to eat and it made me more sick so I pretty much suffered through the entire night. It's really hard to enjoy bands when the bass from the show is making you want to vomit.
Near the beginning of the show we were all back at the back booths and Alexis on Fire were sitting there with their merch so we got to talk to them for awhile and it was cool. Holly also came back there so we got to freestyle for awhile and created another hit single.... okay so we didnt. I just said hi. SO WHAT!? Damn you people.
The Alexis on Fire set was amazing. They were one of the most intense bands I've ever seen. The singer got into the crowd and just freaked out... actually he hit some guy in the mouth with the mic by accident.. but he was slamming himself off the ground and stuff.. craaazy. Definitly entertaining though! Anyway the show made me like them even more than I already did.
The Jersey set was also good. Not many people were left as it was already 2:00am or so. But they played a lot of songs and (of course) I recognized them all. They played Sweet Redemtion last (yay!) and it was all good.
Everyone got free Alexis on Fire cd's too.. they feature TWO songs! May be small but it's still awesome because they're high quality recordings unlike the 64kbs ones I've already got. You'll be able to download the new songs soon (from my song list).
I went to sleep RIGHT when I got home last night and slept until around 8. This morning I still felt strange inside and still couldn't eat. I forced myself to consume some fruit loops but it made me feel really sick to my stomach but so far I've kept it down. I actually think I'm getting better.
I read Linzie's Dead Journal when I got up and it was very negative to say the least so I was really worried about her so I called her but she was still sleeping so I told her Mom to get her to call me when she got up. She did and she sounded like she was in the worst mood ever. She quickly came over and I quickly cheered her up and found out that the only reason she was so upset yesterday was becuase of work (it's hell at the fair from what I've heard... I wouldn't want to work there.. .I'd probably kill someone.). So I made her better and today we spent an awesome time together (it's been two days since we've seen each other because she's been at the fair constantly and I rarely get to see her all this week (afterschool).. so it was awesome to get to spend time with her today). We went over and got Pizza for lunch and watched Quantum Leap and Pepsi and then just layed around together talking and watching TV. *sigh* She left at around 3:45 in a good mood so hopefully it'll last and she'll be alright at work.. because I really don't want her to suffer or be in a bad mood cause she doesn't deserve what her boss is doing to her (being a complete bitch to her). Anyway so here I am writing this really long entry watching Tennis (US Open finals!) and listening to Disturbed.
For a music update I've been listening to mostly Blaster The Rocket Boy and Disturbed with a bit of Alexis on Fire so be sure to check that shit out.
Looks like that might just be it for now. If I remember anything I'll be sure to mention it in tomorrow's entry. Bye bye!
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Timeline
- I lived with my Mom
- I was with Linzie
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