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September 01, 2004 6:14PM

Dude I did!! I told you to do the bendy every once and a while!!

*sigh* my umbrage has returned in full force and I am filled with nothing but resentment and hate. I need a sword and a long headstart. I need release.... and freedom of everything. I hate where I am... helpless and uncertain. Unsafe and dependant... a mess of blood and tears. I find happiness in nothing and all I can see is hate and anger in everything else. I want to be an asshole to everyone except a very select few, so when I am kind to them, it will hold much more signifigance. I don't care if I'm hated, despised or disliked... I'm much beyond that now. You keep your prying eyes to yourself, your hands by your sides and your eyes closed to the world, and you will be much better off. Enough of this flith...

Yesterday was the departure of a great friend... Emily and I escorted JJ downtown to the Greyhound station where she purchased her one-way ticket to Toronto and got on the bus at gate 1, where we cried on the inside and smiled on the exterior. It was hard to see her leave... my life had adapted to inlude her and I could feel her be ripped away as we walked into that departure gate, it was painful, although the thought of the future eased the pain a small bit, but I wish I had my own apartment and she could stay for however long she wished, but alas, what I have is not my own.

After the waving and yelling to the bus, Emily and I walked up the street to the market, where the idea of enjoying a nice, freshly made baguette entered our heads, and we walked around until we found a bakers stand and bought one for $1.79. We shared it as we walked; we decided to walk up to Prince Alberts diner to see if Beth and Michelle were there eating lunch because we were aware of them having lunch plans, but where unsure of where or when, and since we were already down there, it wasn't that far out of the way to stick our heads in and check.. sadly they weren't there, so our walk down richmond was in vain, but we crossed the street and entered the park, to find a bench and some shade where we sat. We talked, and played games, and pet the kitties (squirrles).. and enjoyed the quiet and contentment of it all. Once I got restless from sitting there, we decided to walk down to Dundas and catch the bus home. Once we arrived home, talk of Michelle coming over for the night came up, of which was news to me, but nevertheless I talked to Michelle on MSN almost right away to see if she was actually coming or not and she said she was in a big 'movie' mood, and that she was going to arrange a movie outing for later on. Most everyone else was busy, so the final group consisted of Emily, myself, Michelle and Jess, and we decided on seeing King Arthur.

The movie started at 9:15, so we decided to meet at our normal meeting zone, Macs Milk - Dundas and Wellington, and the girls were there when we arrived, as per normal. We walked to Rainboe Cinemas quickly and bought our tickets from the front counter, which was being serviced by my normal friend who works there (who I sadly don't even remember her name... here's the full story) Okay, there is a girl who works at Rainbow who I went to college with... we had the same classes, talked maybe twice and but never really made any contact.. anyway, I started going to Rainbow like.. every... five hours, so we got to know each other and laugh and joke at things, like my large butter with popcorn and stuff, and she was also always with her blond friend with the pretty monroe, who I also don't know the name of, nor have I ever spoke a single word to her, but anyway, that's about as far as my relationship with those two girls goes. When we arrived last night, she asked me I had handed in a resume a while ago and I had (even though they weren't hiring) and then she asked me for my full name, which she wrote down. She said that they are hiring a bunch of people and her blond friend had said, "Why don't we get your friend a job?" and she was like, "What that guy I went to school with and sat on the other side of the room from and never talked to?" and she was like, "okay". So she wrote down my name and we bought tickets and went upstairs, as we usually do of course. When we got up there, we all bought our respective junk foods. As I approached the cashier, the blonde friend who I don't know the name of came up to me and asked me what my name was, and then ran up to her supervisor and told her and than said something along the lines of, "this is him! do you remember his resume??" and then waved at me, to which I responded by... waving myself. We finished purchasing our death inducing food and walked over to the doors of the theatre we were going to be going into and waited for the movie to end so we could go in... of course I had to pee horribly, so I went over and used the facilities, naturally, and washed my hands and exited. As I walked back over to the girls, the supervisor lady approached me and said, "Hi! *shakes hand* *hopefully doesn't notice dampness* I'm *insert some name here*. Could I just get your full name so I make sure I have it right?" , to I reply with me... name. duh. and she says, "Can you come in for an interview tomororw at 2:30?", to which I reply with, "yes.". And that was it. So strange.. the first time I've ever been approaced at a store I was shopping in (so to speak) and asked for an interview hehe.. I guess it's good to have friends, although I think I should learn their names soon.

The movie started off by destroying my childhood dreams, which was offensive to say the least. I love the sword in the stone, the mists of avalon... all the king arthur legends.. and the movie opens by telling you basically, that they're all bullshit and you're a fucktard for believing it.. now here' sthe truth! And the movie plays out as a historically accurate portrayed of a bunch of knights forced to serve Rome for a fifteen year term, and eventually fight for a greater force and blah blah blah. I'd give the movie a 6 out of 10. It starts out shattering my dreams but ended as a good enough movie. I think if they hadn't associated it with Arthur and the Knights of the Round, the movie would've scored a lot higher in my book, because the movie didn't live up to any of the legends or mysticism surrounding the stoires, so it left it feeling emtpy and way too human. If it was just a story about a few normal knights it would've been an awesome tale... but I guess they thought the names would sell tickets... oh well, I'd say it's worth the 3 or 4 dollar admission to see, but not $10 at a silvercity like theatre. I think I"m going to end the night there, as nothing much else happened.

Today I woke up and called GTN Communications, my employer and Kandie, the head of human resources, explained to me what was going on. Worldline, the company in which GTN had a contract with, a contract I was working on, had folded because they.. well, suck cock, and instead of getting rid of me with the contract, they want to keep me around to work on the next contract that is in the works, but she wasn't sure when it would be finalized or how many agents they'd need, but she said she'd keep my file open and on the top and give me a call when more develops, so at least I'm still employed, just on vacation right now. Emily and I got dressed and left for my interview at Rainbow, which went exceptionally well. The supervisor lady didn't even ask me any questions.. she just explained to me a couple of the different jobs that happened there, told me the wage, some of the hours and various other things.. she seemed to really like me, which is good.. she also went out of her way to let me know that the schedual was moldable to suit people with two jobs and so on, so that was good as well.. she told me that if all went well, I would get a call on Friday from Jim (that might've been his name) and I'd have a second interview. So that seems good anyway.. looking forward to that, I'd love to work two jobs and be rich.. than I can spit in peoples face as I make it on my own.

I made a chicken breast dinner.. I'm now full, have a headache, irritable and restless. I still can't feel good about my updates, so I'm sorry that this has to be so shitty. I've been listening to a lot of different stuff lately, Zeromancer right now, Tenacious D a lot... Sparta.. the list goes on. Enjoy yourself.. later.

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