September 16, 2002 11:24PM
Lots of Writing
I've been thinking of tons of things I'd like to discuss for no more reason than to just talk to myself about them. Just strange things that go through my head ALL THE TIME like how love really isn't a measureable substance it's like binary it's either a 1 or a 0 on or off. I've had tons of other stuff go through my head lately they just aren't coming to me right now.
I've been writing a lot more in pen lately. That's probably the reason why I haven't been updating the site with detail or motivation or anything it's kinda boring to read after I write it I noticed so I apologize for the... err.. poorly written updates. Today alone I wrote three pages (lined pages) in pen for writers craft talking about how students just talk about bullshit and more bullshit just to fill the page required daily and how it's quite meaningless and doesn't really stimulate the mind therefore we don't really learn anything from it nor increase our writing strength. Another was complaining about some dumb bitch in my class who kept freaking out and calling the teacher ignorant and I explained how stupid people always overuse the word ignorant and
don't even know what it means (I wrote a similar article on this site). It was really bugging me. I also wrote a page on intelligence and higher thinking shared by select people and a few attributes of such a thinking... like a kind of telepathy almost.Now love as a substance... as many of you in relationships know often (in a joking way usually) you and you're boyfriend/girlfriend say I love you more or tons or a whole fucking lot.. but I think that's a lie!! I don't think love is measureable. It's either there or not not in different amounts. You either love someone or you don't. I think they are mixing up the emotion love and like. You can like something or someone to varying degrees and often if you like your girlfriend a whole ton you want to be around her all the time and thus think you love her tons.... okay this really isn't getting the point across that I was hoping for. The same goes for hate too. You either hate something or you don't. There is no amount. So.. next time you say to your special person I love you more! realize that you don't and that you are going to hell to burn for all eternity you sick sick fucker.
It's funny that after people are with people in a relationship for a long period of time they start seeing them as their whole reality and they no longer exist as a single entity. I find it funny that a lot of relationships end up to be nothing more than fighting matches after a long time. People fight and fight and then make up breifly just to fight a bit more.. why don't they end it? Easy. Those people are so much a part of their life that they don't exist (or think they don't) without them so obviously getting rid of the person isn't an option. Also when you are THAT close and connected with someone (even if it's obvious the times up and it's time to move up) you cling and you cling because it's all you know. I'm lucky that I'm still madly in love with Linzie and can't really see getting to a point of bickering or not enjoying each others company. We're just too good for each other. We have something that almost no relationships have and couldn't... we're bestfriends. We share the best experiences together as friends and can switch back and forth from being bestfriends to being awesome in love boyfriend/girlfriends at will and it's awesome. I think that's whats going to make us last as long as we want.
I've been playing a lot of WarCraft III lately. Random team games as well as a few Solo games and some Arranged Teams with Ben. We lose a lot but we still have fun. The people you find on battle.net are the most retarded monkeys you'll ever see.
They are so fucking stupid and annoying and hostile.. it's just fucking amazing. No one is friendly... everyone insults everyone at the first chance they get. Here (to the right dumbass) is the screenshot of the day (haha
like it's gonna be updated everyday).I've been doing all of my homework lately and even some that isn't homework. I'm just staying right on top of all of my work. I'm not sure why. Something just snapped and I don't even mind doing the work in fact I quite enjoy it. The idea that I may get really high marks is enjoyable too. I do plan on writing and uploading some work to share with you people especially work from writers craft. Journals and opinion papers... it's pretty much an on-paper version of this website (same writing style for my journals too).
I've been happy a lot lately. There have been times were I've been mostly neutral or numb to emotion but NOT depressed and that's what matters. Even though I haven't been able to see Linzie lately becuase of her working I've done a very good job at staying happy. There were a few times that I could have become depressed and I knew it so I fought it and won. I got depressed once and it sucked.. and I knew it sucked and I tried to get out of it but that night was pretty much ruined but I was good again the next day. So basically I'm doing really well lately. Be proud of me.
I've been listening to MSI (Mindless Self Indulgence) a lot lately... well constatly actually and I've just got to say the singer's got the coolest hair.
Linzie and I are going to be spending a lot of time together again now... which means less gaming time but that's okay because I love Linzie and love being near here and laying with her and just everything. I'm so lucky to be in this relationship and share things with her... It's so unique and special.. I highly doubt I'll ever experience anything like this in my life again. In the last little while we've had a tiny bit of trouble mainly because of a few things that we've both kept hidden (or me mostly.. ) but we got past those problems pretty well.. it kinda dragged on for a while because we were both suspicious of more (or at least I got that feeling) so we finally spilled every little thing and swore that it was all so we could just move on. And we have and we're starting to get back to normal or at least a new normal that I'm perfectly comfortable with.
I took a typing test today the same on my sister is taking for college. Her goal for the test was 35 WPM and I took it first try no errors 85 WPM. I got 97 WPM on one I took in the net a few weeks ago.. So.. it's around the area of the 90's. I think that's pretty good.
Perhaps you've noticed the monkey that's now on the top of my front page. Well that was drawn by one of my best friends Owen MacKinder for his college course and I'm proudly displaying it and it will soon link to his personal website hosting his work and explainations and information. Monkey Shine!
I guess that's about it for this entry... I actually wrote quite a bit... again I'll try to get some school work up soon.. as soon as I have my binder open over here and have the energy and just feel like I want to create stuff. So.. sometimes in the near future.. I don't even know if you people care at all. Well.. goodnight!
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Timeline
- I lived with my Mom
- I was with Linzie
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