Excessive

Today has been a struggle for me, I've tried and failed to feel good until the very end of the day. I suppose that's better than nothing, but I would say the day was essentially ruined. It's as it usually is, nothing specific was wrong, I was simply hyper-sensitive and easily found my way into a dark place where I felt like... death, like... destruction and sorrow and pain and sadness and it was all I could do to not scream or punch something. I tried really hard to push passed it, to get back to normal but I didn't do that good of a job.

I hate when I waste a day, especially napping because I can't stand being awake. I could've done so much... I could've cleaned, or played a game, or caught up on TV or cooked something... could have done something productive or meaningful.

I opened today at work, 6am to 11am... yeah I left really early because they are trying to save labor cost and I got everything ready really fast because I'm not retarded, so with everything done, I took off and made my way home slowly on the bus.

Pretty much the entire afternoon was wasted, I napped and laid around. I didn't feel like eating or cooking, but I forced myself to eat spaghetti. I eventually played Mass Effect 2 a bunch, and had a lot of fun, started to relax a bit, and eventually had a bath.

I work tomorrow at 12pm, and will be getting a ride with Jon. I'm not sure what my plans are for the rest of the night... perhaps play Dragon Quest 4 for a bit and then read a chapter of Storm of Swords.

I wanted to write a paragraph about Manson's album Eat Me, Drink Me, but I don't feel like it anymore, I just don't have it in me. I love the album and I think it's Manson's best. I'll write about it at some point, I'm sure.

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