Excessive

Today sucked, sucked sucked sucked. Work was busy because of a stupid BBQ, and some lunches and a busy day in the cafe. I got to work and got some breakfasts ready, and then got most of the two lunches we had ready, and then started on the BBQ, which by far took the most time. After the BBQ went, I got called over to the stupid cafe to cook pasta a couple times and I really hate it... I think it might've been the first time I've done it since I came back full time.

The afternoon was spent finishing butternut soup and tomato sauce, and then trying to get a dinner buffet ready, and also doing veg for a plated. I had to stay 45 minutes late because there's no one that works there than can pick up where I leave off, so I have to make sure everything is done before I leave. One of these days, one... one of these days I want to leave right on time without question or guilt and just go home, go home on time and feel okay. Work can be frustrating, sometimes I don't want to be there late, and sometimes I don't want to be responsible for everything.

About halfway through the day I started getting a headache, and it starts out small - it always starts out small. I could feel it building. I drank water all day, I even stopped and had lunch, canelonni and lasagna, and had a snack here or there, but no, it got worse and worse, I could tell by the end of my shift that it was turning into or going to be a migraine. There are differences, between just having a bad headache and having a migraine. Small things include loss of apetite, sensitivity to light and motion, but... the worst effect by far is this.. weird, drunkenness. This includes memory loss, inability to concentrate, and... yeah.. those things. I don't even really remember getting home. I remember I called a cab because I honestly didn't think I could get home if I had to take a bus, but the traffic was so bad that the cab kept trying to go different random places, like, went through the hospital to get to richmond, and then down all these side streets, and then halfway home started talking to me about road infastructure and corruption and I really, really didn't give a shit.

When I got home, I came up and threw off most of my clothes and tried to eat a bowl of chips and drank a coke and think I sat at the computer not doing anything. I felt like I was going to vomit, I couldn't think or look at anything or move - so much pain. The only option I had was to go to sleep, it was the only thing I could do, so I just turned on the morning stream on my phone and fell asleep in the sun that shines on the bed, with Kairi between my legs and slept from 4:45pm to 9pm. Yes, I slept for four hours this evening, I skipped dinner, missed time to play games, or relax, time to myself... it sucks that my entire evening was taken away from me.

I woke up feeling much better, I had a smaller headache still remaining, but the other effects, the weird drunkeness, the sensitivity, all that crap was gone, so I could at least function normally for the rest of the night, whatever was left. I got up, turned off the podcast and decided to go sit at the computer for a bit, to catch up on my feeds and try to feel normal. From about 9pm to about 9:45pm, I just chilled out on the computer reading, but I wanted to play something before the night was over so it didn't feel like a complete waste of time. I sat down and played another episode of Phantom Brave, putting me about halfway through the game now (episode 8 of 17). After completing an episode, I turned on Uncharted to play a bit more of that. While I feel the gunplay/cover system could use a bit of work, specifically I think that the enemies are too argressive too quickly, they flank you, but like six or seven attack you at once, so you quickly have no where to take cover, and it kind of gets frustrating because it could be a five minute or longer fight, but it doesn't save a checkpoint until after it's over, so if three enemies charge you right at the end, you die, and you have to start the fight right from the beginning again. This happened to me a few times tonight and I started to feel pretty annoyed, but, overall, the game is fun, the platforming is very fun, and the gunplay is satisfying enough to keep me going.

After Uncharted, I stopped around 10:10pm, took a sleeping pill, and grabbed my laptop, and turned on Modern Family, and started writing slowly. Modern Family was a repeat, as the season is over, as most seasons are over for most shows, but it was the episode with the beeping smoke detector, one of my favorites, so it was really fun to watch, and helped my mood a bit. I started writing really slowly, but that could've been party due to me paying so much attention to the TV, but I still felt kind of zoned out from the headache. I've got The Daily Show on now, and I'm having an easier time writing, and I'll put on The Colbert Report afterward, and even though I'm pretty sure both of those are on repeats this week, I don't watch them regularly anymore (even though I record them every night on my PVR), so they're new to me.

Last night I went to sleep, or I mean, I tried to go to sleep, and although I had taken a sleeping pill, it didn't feel like I had (so much so that I even questioned if I had actually taken one) and it took me a long time to fall asleep. I don't want that to happen again... even though I only get less than six hours of sleep a night, falling asleep quickly is important to me, as it's the main reason I take a sleeping pill at all, because the whole laying in bed, rolling over and over, thinking a lot, all that jazz really drives me nuts, and I want to just put my head on the pillow and fall asleep, which is what is normal after taking a sleeping pill, so I'm just going to stay up a bit later today until I feel that tired. I slept for four hours today after work, which is almost as much sleep as I usually get at night normally, so I don't need as much asleep tonight, and due to the fact that I slept so much already, I predict difficulty falling asleep tonight, and I hope to avoid that.

Work tomorrow will be... I don't remember. I think it should be pretty standard, I don't really know. I'm pretty sure there is a continental, and a picnic lunch for 18 (mainly just sandwiches) and then there is some kind of dinner I think. After today, I can only imagine that tomorrow will be better, but I don't want to jinx it, so I guess I'll just keep myself open for disappointment. I just hope that I physically feel good tomorrow, because I don't want a stupid headache or migraine again, I just want to get through the day feeling physically comfortable, it makes everything so much easier.

It's cold, I'm not tired, but I think I've ran out of things to write, so I should finish this paragraph and then continue to watch TV until I get tired. I think I've covered everything now, so... have a good night!

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