Excessive

I'm feeling so pissed tonight, and I've been having a tough time lately. I've been forgetting things, and having trouble remembering stuff, stuff like appointments, times I've just heard, or getting things ready for dinner.

I'm just terrified of life right now.

Can't wait until May.

I don't want to write.. I don't feel like writing at all. I don't want to. Yet here I am sitting and writing out of some kind of habit or mental requirement... I don't even know why. I feel obligated, and I suppose that's good. Keeps things in check and that's important right?

Oh hey you're cool if I have to open tomorrow at 6am instead of 7am right? Just get up an hour earlier and what not? Oh, okay, cool.

Today was a pretty good day if I do say so myself. It was a day floating in a make believe place of wonder and calmness and relaxation, where nothing existed but what was happening directly around me, inside my apartment, or on my sidewalk. Nothing mattered except what I decided mattered, and that was a wonderful state to be in, a wonderful place to exist for a day. It's easy to look back on, at the end of the day, and think to myself, "it would be nice if this could be forever" but I know that's not possible, so it's nice to enjoy it for what it is, or was, or will be and return to the world of money and Windermere and school and stress, with a new memory, new feelings, new purpose and motivation.

Today was chill yo. Lots o chill.