Excessive

Today was a day filled with above average anxiety. It hit me right away at work. It is almost always triggered by an email that - in my mind - blames something on me, or in some way implies that something I did was less than satisfactory. I don't mean in reality, I mean, in the way I percieve something. It's a major weakness in my personality. It ruins my day, and things pile on. I imagine more and more things, beat myself up over stuff, lose confidence. So this is what happened today. I enjoy days where I just go to work, do my work without much interaction, and feel good about myself.

I surprisingly did not wake up with a headache this morning, something that doesn't happen as often as I'd like. Lately I've been waking up with very intense sinus headaches (at least I think it's sinus headaches, how would i know?). I'm sure it's related to a nasal spray I've been using for the last few months, but it's always hard to tell, and difficult to know if I should stop using it.

I feel so exausted, so drained, that it's hard to know what to do. I've been playing World of Warcraft and watching TV, had a tiny bit of wine, and that seemed like a good enough place to start.

I've been playing Final Fantasy XIV lately, as I found myself drawn to the gameplay of an MMO, and since it's kind of a downtime in World of Warcraft, I thought giving Final Fantasy XIV another shot was a good idea. As a side-effect, I also got Ally playing, and then Bekki playing, and then Kurt playing. I may have created a monster, now that Bekki plays the game more than I do, and I can see the concepts of the MMO are starting to sink in to her. She understands how to min/max dps and how to recognize bad players.

Today was okay, but tomorrow is gonna suck. It's busy and I don't want to go to work. I want to stay at home and play Disgaea and finish projects and study for exams.

I'm feeling very nervous about tomorrow, and I really really don't want to go. Like really stressed out. I'm watching half of SNL and then going to sleep... it's a repeat.