Excessive

I've been playing Final Fantasy XIV lately, as I found myself drawn to the gameplay of an MMO, and since it's kind of a downtime in World of Warcraft, I thought giving Final Fantasy XIV another shot was a good idea. As a side-effect, I also got Ally playing, and then Bekki playing, and then Kurt playing. I may have created a monster, now that Bekki plays the game more than I do, and I can see the concepts of the MMO are starting to sink in to her. She understands how to min/max dps and how to recognize bad players.

I've had a bit of a rougher day than normal, or so it feels at the moment. I've felt above average anxiety, I've felt weak, I've tripped and fell, metaphorically speaking. I had a pizza for dinner tonight, like one from backdoor pizza, and I didn't think I was going to have one for a long time. I kind of feel like I've failed, but I convinced myself it was a reward for wanting it for so long and being strong enough to hold off. I also spent a bunch of money on materials needed to make my own beef jerky, and I feel kind of like a fool now, and I will do it, and see it through, I'm worried it won't turn out properly and I'm just worried.

I feel a bit sad.

I feel my mind falling apart, worse and worse, not better than before.

I didn't mean for this to be.

I normally don't write during the day, it feels weird and I'm in a different state of mind, but I didn't write yesterday and I feel like I should before I forget, as you know... everyone would be really upset if I didn't! Right?

It's late and I probably should be in bed already, but I suppose I say that almost every time I write something, so you'll have to forgive me for being repetitive, I usually just write the first thing that comes to mind and I always am aware of the stupidity of staying up later than I should.

Today has been pretty boring, but also relaxing too, because I haven't been worrying about anything, so all in all it's an okay day. I've read all the interesting threads in G&T and SE++, watched last nights Mythbusters, downloaded and organized lots of new music, watched an episode of Charmed and Nip/Tuck, and ate supper.

The following are the reasons I want a Nintendo DS so bad.

Out Now DS:

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