Excessive

Today was a pretty good day. Although I woke up with a headache, over the course of the day I accomplished quite a bit and felt good about it. I suffered through an above average exaustion. My eyes were so heavy and I had to force myself to do anything because I had no energy.

I spent the majority of the day refactoring old code and I couldn't stop. My mind was racing, so fast, I couldn't think straight. I tried to relax, I tried to play a game, but whatever I did, I felt crazy. I felt like I could rip my skin off and scream and go nuts and there was just so much overwhelming racing thoughts that I couldn't do anything. I watched Star Trek TNG almost the whole day and refactored old code while I did it, as working with code occupies my mind and helps me from going crazy.

Today was actually pretty relaxing if I do say so. I worked from 8am to 4pm, and there was nothing going on during the day, only a wedding at night, with hors, reception food, and then a wedding buffet for 100 people. I spent the entire day just getting all of that ready, at my own pace, it was a relaxed atmosphere and felt good. I took a cab home, mostly because I have to work tomorrow and wanted as much time to relax as I could get, and taking the bus home takes over an hour usually, sometimes more, so I forked over the money and just took a cab home.

Friday was a terrible day for me. I wish it hadn't been... May 13th was my Mom's birthday and while I did find time to wish her a happy birthday multiple times, my entire day was spent in my head, going crazy and like... just, trapping myself in this horrible place where it kept piling on and piling on. It really felt like the world was crashing down around me and nothing else mattered. I wasted the entire day, it was a mess...

Today was okay, but tomorrow is gonna suck. It's busy and I don't want to go to work. I want to stay at home and play Disgaea and finish projects and study for exams.

I'm feeling very nervous about tomorrow, and I really really don't want to go. Like really stressed out. I'm watching half of SNL and then going to sleep... it's a repeat.