Excessive

I spent the majority of the day refactoring old code and I couldn't stop. My mind was racing, so fast, I couldn't think straight. I tried to relax, I tried to play a game, but whatever I did, I felt crazy. I felt like I could rip my skin off and scream and go nuts and there was just so much overwhelming racing thoughts that I couldn't do anything. I watched Star Trek TNG almost the whole day and refactored old code while I did it, as working with code occupies my mind and helps me from going crazy.

I am not relaxed. I don't feel very good at all. I feel so wound up and anxious and terrible. I can't seem to take a deep breath, or even think straight.

So I guess sometimes breaks in routine aren't terrible and life-ending like I've always thought. It appears they can be refreshing or positive even, and can leave me feeling good, even if it's not normal or routine, or scheduled.

Today was an easy, good day. Strange how those have been following me around this week so far.

I woke up groggy this morning, obviously due to taking a sleeping pill the night before, but I still managed to drag myself out of bed, and make coffee and get ready for work. I didn't do much beyond that, I just got ready and went to catch the bus around 10am, so I could get to work for 11am.

I really shouldn't listen to depressing music but I can't help it.

I should have a lot to write about... but I don't. I'm empty, lost without a word at the fingertip.

The tree's in front of my window are very pretty, and if I had a camera I'd take a picture. It looks like they have ice for leaves.