Excessive

Today was a day filled with above average anxiety. It hit me right away at work. It is almost always triggered by an email that - in my mind - blames something on me, or in some way implies that something I did was less than satisfactory. I don't mean in reality, I mean, in the way I percieve something. It's a major weakness in my personality. It ruins my day, and things pile on. I imagine more and more things, beat myself up over stuff, lose confidence. So this is what happened today. I enjoy days where I just go to work, do my work without much interaction, and feel good about myself.

I do feel like I'm a better programmer now than I've ever been, having a better understand of how to build something reusable and useful. The value of testing and documentation.

I am eager to have today be over. The anxiety is not going away, and I feel defeated.

I'm watching (we're watching) the BBC documentary series Life, and it's pretty fun. The world is so interesting, it's hard to remember that you need to take some time to look at it. Hippos, and insects, and cats, and all this cool stuff.

I'll continue to watch that now!

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