Excessive

Today was a day filled with above average anxiety. It hit me right away at work. It is almost always triggered by an email that - in my mind - blames something on me, or in some way implies that something I did was less than satisfactory. I don't mean in reality, I mean, in the way I percieve something. It's a major weakness in my personality. It ruins my day, and things pile on. I imagine more and more things, beat myself up over stuff, lose confidence. So this is what happened today. I enjoy days where I just go to work, do my work without much interaction, and feel good about myself.

I feel uncomfortable... physically. My stomach and instestines hurt... My mouth hurts and my tongue feels weird. Overall, I just feel generally uncomfortable physically and I wish I was at home, at least there I can feel mentally comfortable.

First 6 to 2 in the cafe tomorrow. Pretty nervous, but Bridget will be there to keep me aware of what's going on.

Yeah... I know.. I've completely failed at running a blog.. ugh, the fact that I can comfortably call it a blog just makes me sick for starters. It's been well over a month since writing at this place has ceased to be a regular occurance, and while things seemed to be turning around for me, I think it was partially something inside my head protecting me from a reality that I just wasn't ready to deal with.

Make your words look funny with Block Typer!

and smile because of this: http://marknumbertwo.livejournal.com/922201.html

So earlier this afternoon I finished Resident Evil 4 on normal mode and it was quite the satisfying experience. The last boss was lovely; not to give anything away of course, but it was difficult enough to make it a fitting end to a great game, but it wasn't so hard that it's just frustrating and retarded. The story didn't exactly... wrap up... a lot of things were introduced during the course of the game, which weren't wrapped up before the end of the game, but that's only because they left the game open, so that there can be a sequal, and they made it quite obvious there will be a Resident Evil 5 continuation of the story.

i beat it
more later