Excessive

I'm not quite sure how I feel about my reliance on sleeping pills... I mean it's easy enough to just not think about it and continue on as normal. I feel as though the fact that they aren't perscription pills makes it better... but, there is a downside to this reliance, and I just haven't figured it out yet.

Today is split into two sections, one being a decent day of work, the other being quite a terrible, uncomfortable afternoon and evening at home.

I woke up a tad late, not too bad, but about ten minutes later than I had hoped, so I felt a bit rushed while eating breakfast and getting ready, as Julie was on her way to pick me up for work. We stopped for more coffee on the way, which is nice, because no matter how well I make the coffee at home, Tim Hortons is always a nice treat.

As I mentioned yesterday, there was a gala at 1:30pm, with myself, Tom and Julie in to get it ready. I took care of the platters... cheese, fruit, crudite, smoked salmon... and once that was done, it was finishing up hor's and running around finishing up the lose ends. All in all, we pretty much worked non-stop and got everything out on time except the shrimp and mussel display was like.. five minutes late and the dessert pastries were also a bit late. Things went well, it was non-stop running around and stuff, but it wrapped itself up by 3pm, which seemed to arrive very fast, and Julie drove me home.

Once home, I had a snack and shower, but was overcome with a feeling of nausea brought along with a headache that wasn't quite a migrane, but was present enough to be very uncomfortable and very distracting. I felt so sick and uncomfortable that I couldn't play a game, I couldn't even watch Jimmy. I decided that my only option was to take a nap, as sometimes, an let me tell you, it's no guarantee, but sometimes a nap will make me feel better... other times it makes my headache worse, but really, if I can't even sit on the couch and watch TV, what's the point in being awake. From 6:30 to 7:30 I laid in bed with Kairi and Tidus, trying to nap. I think I fell asleep for 15 minutes or so... I just had Trentemoller on, tried to get comfortable...I kept tossing and turning trying to get comfortable, and at one point I think I briefly fell asleep but was instantly woke up by Jon calling me from work asking me about some soup that was on the stove, which is fine, I mean... it's nice to hear from Jon, and he didn't know I was having such a bad time and trying to sleep, so I didn't get annoyed. After an hour had gone by, I knew I wasn't going to be napping, so I got up out of bed and carried on with my evening.

Yeah, it may not make for a good story, but the remainder of my night was not really note worthy. I basically just sat at the computer reading various things on the internet, checking facebook and all that fun stuff, kind of over and over again hoping that someone would come on to chat with. While I don't mind the time alone, I do feel kind of disconnected from anyone or anything, and wouldn't mind just chatting with someone for a bit. After awhile, I realized that I really wasn't doing anything, and I was kind of wasting my time. I noticed it was getting dark and it was about 9:00pm, so I decided it was getting late enough that I could enter 'bed mode' and ran a bath and listened to the morning stream. Afterward, I decided to continue my new routine of watching a Harry Potter movie at night, and set up the laptop in the living room and turned on the last Potter film that I have to watch, the Half-Blood Prince.

Tomorrow is a day off from work, so I'll be sleeping in a bit, and making a nice breakfast. I don't have any plans for my day off besides the normal household chore routine (to-do list) and some laundry. I'm hoping that my sickness goes away with a sleep, as that was another reason I took a sleeping pill at 9:30pm on a night that I don't actually have to go to sleep early. It seems like a waste to go to sleep at a work-day type time, but it's really the only alternative to feeling this shitty way. Here's hoping that I have a good sleep, and have an awesome day off tomorrow.

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