Excessive

I went to write in my green book (my offline journal) and I couldn't find a pen... just a whole ton of unsharpened pencils and I don't even have a pencil sharpener. Then, I finally found a barely useable pencil, sat down in my bath and opened up my book to the last entry. It freaked me out because I don't have any memory of writing the last entry. It doesn't even look like my hand writing. I went on about what emily did to me, and how it was so cold-hearted and sorta mumbled on about things that didn't make much sense, and then I signed the end of the entry by writing 'dead soon' and then drew some symbol I've never seen before. The thing is, I think I wrote that entry that night I accidentally attempted suicide; the day I took 20 perscription sleeping aids and drank a pitcher of beer. I guess that would explain why I wouldn't remember but it was still really freaky to read the entry...

I started today off by getting up late (around 12:30 I think) and I got ready and headed out to Value Mart. I bought a few things for lunches, like apple sauces, mini-pizzas, a couple buns and well... just a few things. I can't really spend money because I need it all to go towards rent, which I'm probably going to be short for anyway. The trip took me about an hour or so and then I was home again.

its dunn

The rest of the day was spent feeling anxious and restless... not really feeling up to doing anything, and at the same time hating that there wasn't anything to do. At around 5 I think.. I don't really remember.. I got a call from Michelle and her and Jess came over and hung out for the remainder of the night. We played lots of different games, mostly I just watched them play... but when Jess was too scared to shoot the badguys in Resident Evil 4, I had to pick up the controller for her and finish the guy off. Overall is was an enjoyable evening. As for afterwards, Linzie was supposed to come over for the night but her bus didn't come so alas, I am all alone :(

I hate being alone... it looks like I'm going to be alone for the next two days... so if anyone wants to come over.. maybe snuggle?.. let me know! My thursday and friday are open and im lookin for some lovin!

linzie

I think that's it for now. Give me a call if you wanna hang out, and if not.. well, wish me luck surviving at work for these next few days. I'm terrified out of my mind... and tomorrow morning I have a doctors appointment, so you can wish me luck with that as well. Goodnight all...

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