Excessive

I'm writing in the middle of a networking lecture... I feel wrong because I should be paying attention, but I suppose it just looks like I'm writing notes.

I've been meaning to write something for a while now, all week basically, but something fucked up on the site and I couldn't get to most of the site due to internal server errors. I eventually fixed it by changing file permissions, which is weird since I haven't touched that crap for over a year.

Everyone should watch 30 Rock because it's an amazing new show that reminds me a lot of Arrested Development, in the way it pretents it's comedy (quick cut-aways, rapid pacing). Watch it, it's funny.

i posted this because my entry was kinda depressing

I've been wanting to write for quite awhile now. I know that I've written, but not the way I've wanted to, or want to I should say. I can't seem to form words that represent my thoughts accuratly enough to publish them on this widely read medium. As I sit here with my glass of almost room tempurature Coke and a bowl of Cheesies, I wonder why I can't feel accomplished, content or relaxed. I often find myself lost in my own torment, creating barriers for myself, creating problems where there aren't any, or shouldn't be any. Now I want to get this next part right because it's very important to me to accuratley communicate exactly what it's like. There are days when my spirit feels lighter than air, where the very act of cleaning a room brings me such joy and accomplishment; where I feel so comfortable that I just sit in the middle of the floor and smile and I'm happy - no - fucking happy. Those days, I enjoy my meals... I enjoy cooking them and eating them, I even enjoying doing the dishes afterwards and putting them away so that the counter appears clean and spotless. On those days I could sit down in front of the TV with a little bit of junk food and watch a movie or play a game and feel so secure and relaxed that it's quite close to what heaven would be, if heaven were a real place (let's not get carried away here). Why are those days so fucking few and far between? Why the fuck am I not entitled to feel that most of the time? Why do those times last for a day or two, and then just rip away from me without warning.

I've been suffering from boredom lately... and it's not like I don't want to be doing things, I do; it's just that there really isn't much for me to do. I'm sitting here at home waiting for TNS to call me to tell me when my training day this week is, and I've put all of the clothes into bags that I can, and emptied my desk and I dunno... there is just not that much stuff for me to do. Makes for quite a boring day to say the least... and doesn't really give me much to write about, although I've said to people before that it's not what you do that makes the writing interesting, it's how your write it.

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By DAVID BAUDER, AP Television Writer
NEW YORK - How's this for a feud that straddles the line between politics and entertainment: CNN's bow-tied conservative Tucker Carlson vs. "The Daily Show" host Jon Stewart.

Carlson on Monday fanned embers still hot from their "Crossfire" confrontation, saying Stewart looked ridiculous during his CNN appearance and was a sellout for publicly backing Democrat John Kerry (news - web sites) for president.
Stewart, appearing on the debate show Friday, angered Carlson by saying "Crossfire" is "partisan hackery" that does little to advance the cause of democracy.
And that was the mild stuff.
"You have a responsibility to the public discourse, and you fail miserably," Stewart said.
Responded Carlson: "You need to get a job at a journalism school, I think."
"You need to go to one," Stewart shot back.
Carlson complained that for a comedian, Stewart wasn't being very funny.
"Come on," he said. "Be funny."
"No," Stewart said. "I'm not going to be your monkey."
Carlson chided Stewart for lobbing softball questions when Kerry appeared on "The Daily Show" last month.
Later, Carlson told Stewart he was "more fun" on his Comedy Central show, and Stewart called him a jerk, although he used a more vulgar term.
"I thought that he looked ridiculous," Carlson said in an interview Monday, "and I think the tape makes that clear."
Carlson said Stewart continued lecturing the "Crossfire" crew after the show went off the air. "I wasn't offended as much as I was unimpressed," he said.
Stewart wasn't talking about the confrontation on Monday, a spokesman said. Comedy Central executive Tony Fox said there may be some regret over the vulgarity, but that Stewart has been a longtime critic of cable news networks and their political argument shows.
The comedian hasn't gone out of his way to endorse Kerry. In a public forum last week in New York, he was asked who he would vote for, and he said he'd back the Democrat.
Carlson noted that many of the great comedians kept their political opinions to themselves, not for fear of offending anyone, but because it could hurt their art.
"You're selling out," he said. "If you are a satirist or an acute social observer, and he is, and all of a sudden you suspend disbelief on someone or suck up rather than prod or poke someone, people will look at you and say, `Even if I agree with you, I don't like it,'" he said.
Fox said "The Daily Show" poked fun at people in power, regardless of their party. Most people who watch Stewart are aware that he leans to the left politically.
"I don't think it really impacts the show at all," he said. "The show does what it does regardless of Jon's political persuasion."

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