Excessive

I want to be a better person.

I feel lost, and I feel hopeless and I can't get back to where I was. I don't care about doing school work, and I just feel so lazy and sad, it's crushing me.

I feel really nervous right now, not really sure why. I can't relax or feel okay.

I can start this off withing saying, "this sucks!" I have to get up early tomorrow... around 8:30am or so, because I'm going to Toronto with Steve to see the body works exibit, and we're leaving at 10am... and here it is 4am with two sleeping pills in me... I didn't think about it until five minutes ago; I never considered that I should probably go to sleep to be rested for tomorrow, I just treated it like a normal night.

Yes yes, I know it's been a long time and I apologize too all my loyal fans, and to those who just randomly dropped by: apologize to ME!

I've obviously been busy doing... everything you can think of. You see, Sunday I moved, horribly hung over mind you, but since that day my life has been completely different. I never have my laptop on anymore, which most will probably notice because I've been offline a lot on MSN, the only time I go online is to check my email and check in with a couple people. I pay for electricty that I use now, which means I've got to keep lights off if I don't use them, keep speakers turned off, don't leave my computer on, and so on... you get the idea I'm sure... so basically the only time I'll be online is when I'm actually sitting at the computer, which brings me to my next thing...