Excessive

I'm extra tired and can't bring myself to write a bunch but I can throw down an overview before I head to bed.

I've been working a lot extra at work lately, average shift is 9.75 hours, and last four days I've worked 45 hours or something, and my body is sore, my mind is aching for some relaxation, and I'm feeling on the up.

Today was actually a pretty good day, an out-of-routine type of day but a good day none-the-less. A day of school, friends, tradition, being social-ish and fun.

It was snowmegedon here in London Ontario this week, a non-stop snowstorm of death. We got almost four feet of snow, and the city had a snow day for three days, where public services were shut down and everyone was stuck inside.

I'm sitting here wondering if anyone has noticed my sudden disappearance... and by someone, I mean not one of the four different people that actually thought I may have died, and made several attempts to check to make sure I was alive. I find it funny (not really offensive or anything...) that I'm offline for a day and people everywhere assume instantly that it was suicide. Anyway... The reason why I'm offline for the first time in ten years, is because that's what happens when you don't pay your rogers bill for long enough; apparently they cut off your internet and digital cable... bastards. So that leaves me with basic cable (they haven't come to my house to physically disconnect the cable outside yet, mwuhaha) and my games and DVDs, so I'm pretty bored lately, and when I'm bored, I think too much, and when I think too much, all I want to do is be alone, and not have any contact with anyone because... I don't really know, I can't really explain it. The thought of having contact with others makes me nervous and the only time I really feel comfortable when I'm in such a terrible state of mind is when I'm alone, because then I don't have to worry about how others are feeling, or if I'm doing things to please them, because when I'm alone, none of that stuff matters because it's just me, and it's a lot less stress on me, and at a time were the stress is at it's highest it's ever been in my life, situations where there is less stress are usually favoured over stressful ones.

Work was very different today.. it dragged on, it was hard to concentrate and a lot of people were chatting. Usually Fridays are like that to an extent; today was secret santa at work, which meant everyone was talking and excited and... you know.. rowdy. I got paid today which mean... I could buy a secret santa gift? Yeah.. seems dumb kinda but I did. I ran to Red Big Apple Red Apple Big cheap ass wanna be bi-way store and picked up bubble bath, candles and nice smelling body wash on my break and ran back. I then wrote a letter to go with it, explaining how the gift wasn't completely impersonal and meaningless (as those gifts are just depressing.. such greed). The rest of the day seemed to drag on and on and I couldn't really concentrate or do anything... everything felt weird but not neccessarily in a bad way.. more of a neautral way.