Excessive

The migraines never stop. The pain is always there. It may start off as a mild dizzy feeling, a slight feeling of something wrong, by mid-day, I'll have stabbing pain behind my eyes and clouded thoughts. 

I don't think I'm a people person. My interaction with people today has reinforced that thought, that belief. I don't enjoy in general - the interaction, repercussions and total bullshit that comes along with people. I feel a pit in my stomach, I feel a darkness, a cold, empty feeling growing in the core of me. I try to fight it off, I even make decisions that are in my best interest, decide to do things I know will help, and it's just one thing after another. I came home from work so angry and upset, I simply got in to bed and went to sleep with no alarm set, didn't care when I woke up or about anything at all. I figured... maybe I was so upset because I was tired, maybe I was over-reacting or worked up for no reason, but there seems to be a consistent theme throughout the day, a theme of betrayal. Perhaps not vicious or obvious betrayal, but a feeling of being stabbed in the back or treated unfairly.

Click this: http://www.exrambling.net/?v=241

Not sure how many people email me ever, but my new email address is quintilex@gmail.com. I can't use Webkore anymore because I get over 300 spam emails per day. It's impossible to find real email in my inbox, so I just can't use it anymore. So if you need to contact me, be sure to email my gmail.

I actually had a good sleep last night! and I actually woke up at a good time! and it's only 11am and I've already done everything that needs to be done! and I feel pretty good!

Thank god for private messages from stupid people.

I'm having seriously one of the worst days ever. Besides the fact that my loyal kittens have kept me company and attempted to comfort me all day, I'm laying around, yelling at the walls, shaking and hitting my head and screaming. I can't play games... I get frustrated and yell curse words at the TV before slamming down the controller and shutting off the game without saving. I can't eat because... well I'm not hungry; I can't rest because my back hurts and my mind has melted. I layed in bed floating in and out of conciousness listening to the Final Fantasy X soundtrack, having the craziest, disturbing dreams / daydreams. I feel sick to my stomach, I feel sick to my head. I feel helpless and worst of all I feel hateful. I want to go visit a few select people in person with a chainsaw. I want to cut out vocal chords, and cut off heads.. grr. Is it legal to make threats like that? meh...

Iron and Wine are on Last Call with Carson Daily and they're going to be playing off of the Garden State soundtrack, and I want to go wake up Emily and have her enjoy it like I know she would, but I also know that no one wants to be disturbed while sleeping, no matter what; she'd just mumble and roll over... oh well, for some reason it makes me sad. Steven Colbere is also on the show, which she'd probably also enjoy.