Excessive

About two weeks until the wedding.

Surprisingly, it's probably the thing I'm the least stressed out about, and I am excited for it. I'm stressed out about work, and how much time I spend there, and my Dog, who brings out a rage in me when she does stupid shit for no reason, and really makes me hate both owning a dog, and also hate myself.

Today was not much different than the day before, school was tolerable but overall boring, and the second half of the day left me feeling uninspired and unenergized and lethargic. I didn't accomplish much, nor did I feel good about anything I was doing, and overall it left a bad taste in my mouth.

I would like today to be a good day.

Work was stressful. I feel... useless. I feel like an outsider, I feel like I've started a new job, I feel like I'm not pulling my weight, like I'm getting in the way. I was getting really upset, really frustrated, it seemed everything I was doing, everything was wrong. I used to be good at my job - maybe not - but I felt like I was good at my job, and that was important because since I didn't second guess myself, I got work done quicker. I felt so shitty today, so angry at how out of place I felt, my mind was kind of shutting down and then Jon wouldn't let it go and kept asking me what was wrong and trying to give me motivational advice, but I just wanted to be left alone to work through it. Eventually Julie came in and we had got our stuff done, so she just yelled things at me she needed done and that put me in a better mood because I can do those things fine and she generally appreciates the stuff I do and sometimes even compliments it, and after that my mood got a bit better and the second half of the day I was okay.

I'm going to Hamilton tomorrow to visit my Grandpa so that my Mom can have her birthday celebration dinner thingy.

Seems the webserver is on the fritz. Half the time it's down, the other half it's not processing the php :S

The Pile is no longer available until further notice. It done broke itself.

Update

I'm sick of the depressing or depressesque type writing around here and I really want to add more positive, maybe even entertaining content. I'm working on creating an episode guide for Viva La Bam, which basically is just a list of shows, their title and when they aired... pretty simple.

I find it strange how we feel protected by the sun during the day and abandoned by the moon at night.

I feel cold and alone, but at the same time watched. Why must Tidus sleep? AH!