Excessive

It happens from time to time, it's hard to recognize maybe, sometimes I just think it's because I'm feeling depressed but maybe getting writers block is unrelated to moods, maybe it just comes naturally. I've been having trouble doing a lot of creative things, I've also felt very depressed and down, lazy, slow, unsocial, etc. These are things I seem to write about every other week, keeps creeping back into writing year after year.

The last couple nights I wanted to be creative and go into one of those states where I just work fast and create a crazy amount of new things and really have fun, but I've just sat down and kind of had brain farts, just kind of sat there and did like 1/8th the normal work I would normally get done. I'm convinced I created an entire class in a really bad way that I'll eventually have to recode it completely.

I have been jotting down random ideas so that when I'm working better I can just jump on them and have a place to start, I just... I just feel so empty when I don't have the excitement of creating things. It sounds stupid and almost cliche but I just feel so dead inside this week, I feel stagnant and uncreative and dead.

School tomorrow... I've finished my C++ project (statistics) and I just need to add comments and then do a final pass to optimize and organize the code. It's due on Monday, and since I work Friday, Saturday and Sunday, it really only leaves me tomorrow to finish it up.

I ordered swiss chalet tonight for dinner and it was decent enough, but the chicken was pretty overcooked and dry, but I really didn't want to leave the house so it worked out for me.

Overall, today was pretty crappy, and while you'd think I'd be looking forward to getting out tomorrow, I'm not, in fact I'm quite dreading it, and not looking foward to going to sleep.

I may hit up the grocery store tomorrow after school, even though it'll be late and that seems stupid, I don't really have anything for dinner (haven't really all week) so I may just buy some fresh tomatoes and make bruschetta to eat with spaghetti, but sometimes things just catch my eye, and it all really depends on what mood I'm in.

For some reason today has felt like Thursday and that I was going to have to work tomorrow, that dread feeling is making me feel that way, but I still have one more day of time to relax so... I guess that's pretty good.

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