Excessive

I think Friday's are my least favorite day of the week, specifically because I wake up late, have only two or three hours to be alive, and then I have to leave for work. Not only do I have to work, but I get to work at a time where a lot of things are half done, or finished, and it's unorganised and difficult to just jump in.

As I mentioned, I stayed up late last night reading over random entries, generally feeling amazed at how different I used to be, but at the same time how things never change. After I went to bed, I had nightmares. I had three seperate nightmares, all with similar themes of being helpless, having no control over situations... it was pretty terrible to "live" through that crap.

When I reluctantly woke up, I stumbled around and realized I had no lunch food, which is like... the worst thing ever, considering the one good thing about Friday's is that I usually eat a really nice lunch before I go off to work. I ended up eating what I had bought for dinner, a frozen lasagna, so now if I come home and I'm starving and uncomfortable and headachey and miserable, I won't even have any food to eat at all. Sometimes I hate everything about existing, Sometimes I wonder why I never have any food, then I remember it's because I can only buy a backpacks worth of food at a time, so I can never stock up, I can only buy one or two days worth of food.

I get sick of having to plan meals, because planning meals is the only way to have the food, because I can only buy a specific set of things, so if I don't plan, then I don't buy and then I don't have any food... and sometimes I don't want to have to think a week ahead about the food I'm going to eat. Sometimes I wish I could just fucking crawl out of bed, go to the cupboard and there would be a few things to pick from.

I'm just wasting time on the couch until I have to go to work. I have a bad feeling today is going to suck, and I'm not looking forward to going to work, but then again, I never am.

World of Warcraft has become somewhat boring now that I've levelled all my characters, and with no one to play with it's lost a lot of it's fun. I was pretty bored yesterday, even though I did get a lot of school work done, I was left with a lot of time to think and not do anything, and that was somewhat undesireable. I have a lot of console games, but for some reason the idea of playing one makes me feel restless, but perhaps I just need to give it a try, and it'll get more fun and easier to do.

As far as school goes, I've only got a couple projects and tests left and I'll be done soon. My last exam is on the 21st I believe, and then I plan on going back to working full time hours on May 9th, so I'll take two weeks off to relax and/or go insane.

Overall I feel quite insane, not myself, lost, and a mess. I hope work doesn't suck too much and I hope the weekend goes by quickly.

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