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May 06, 2002 5:02AM

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  • I lived with my Mom
  • I was with Linzie

Well it's 5:02am on Monday morning and I just finished watching Chasing Amy (New Jersey Trilogy 4 Life yo!) and it really opened my eyes about two things. One, homosexuals and how to understand it and also relationships and peoples sexual past. The way that this movie explained homosexuality, whether in a man or a woman, was extremely well done and eye opening (at least for me). One of the most repeated statments made by gays is: "we didn't chose" or "it wasn't our choice, we can't just go back and forth", that's why everyone hates bisexual people. Gays hate them because they say they're faking it and there is no "in between", you are either attracted to one sex or the other" and straight people hate them because they just think they are faking it, based on the previous statement about one or the other.. where was I again? Ah yes, people always say "it's not a choice". Well, this statement really doesn't help understand anything at all, nor can straights relate to it, so no one really benfits by it being said. In the movie, one of the main characters (a lesbian) describes it as follows:

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April 28, 2002 12:00AM

No Subject
  • I lived with my Mom
  • I was with Linzie

Um.. well, it's been awhile since I even looked at this site, let alone wrote anything for it. The only reason I'm doing it now is because I'm quite bored. I stopped working on Time Finder for a second and was just sorta sitting there.. so I decided I might as well catch up everyone (*points at the one person viewing this*) on whats going on.

Well.. I am about this close -- [----] to dropping out of school or getting kicked out.. I know I know, you're saying to yourself, "but Quintile, you are the smartest, most intelligent person I've ever met and ever will meet! Why would you throw your future away?", in which I respond with, "Fuck you, you don't know me". HAH! ... *cough*.. umm.. well anyway, I've just had a really hard week and I only went to school once this week.. I had two breakdowns that involved punching something and locking myself in the bathroom with a knife and my mom freaking out both time and unscrewing the door knob to get in.. but she called my Dad and talked with him while I sat in the dark and she calmed down and talked to me calmly, which keeps me calm (I don't respond well to violence or yelling). She talked to me about my issues, like my extreme social anxiety/phobia, not eating or sleeping and so on and she said that she was willing to work with me and that she realizes that it isn't easy for me to go to school, or to leave the house period and she wants to help. She's also considering getting some help for me, which I'm a little iffy on, because I know I can deal with my problems on my own in my own ways but you never know. Where was I going with this again? Ah yes, she said if I don't want to go to school she would support me and help me get work building computers or something related. I WANT to finish school and go to college because I know I'll enjoy my program at Fanshawe and I know I can do very well in it, it's just really hard to get there, at least at this point in my life. But of course there is one jewel in this shit filled week, which if there hadn't been, I don't know if I'd still be here typing this. Wow, this got a lot more personal than I had expected.. well then.. I think things will only get better from here, at least I hope they will. I just know I'll regret typing all of this out in a few minutes/hours. *sigh* no turning back now..

I know I say this everytime I write something but.. updates coming soon... okay.. stop laughing.. STOP! There WILL be.. soon? maybe.. *runs off*

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March 24, 2002 12:00AM

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  • I lived with my Mom
  • I was with Linzie

Wow, it's been quite a long time since I've done anything with this site.. I guess I'm working on it now because I'm bored and have nothing else to do. I can't concentrate enough to program and I can't sleep, so it looks like type meaningless words here is the answer. I guess the reason I haven't done anything with this place is because I've been so busy. That and the fact I've not been upset lately, more numb. I've also been opening up more than usual and this place is just another example of it.. I debated with myself whether or not to keep this up or not, but I think I just might but keep it less personal than I had originally had thought. I guess all I really have to say is.. Updates soon!

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March 08, 2002 12:00AM

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  • I lived with my Mom
  • I was with Linzie

School fucking sucks. Well.. more like Mr. Emery sucks. The bastard just won't leave me alone! I don't even do anything! He made me stay after school today, just to let me know that I don't do enough work. Well no fuck, he was the one who successfully got me banned from the computers at school, therefore can't do work! Stupid dumbass... Not only that but he also kept Owen after school simply because he didn't do enough work to satisfy Mr. Emery's wants and needs.. oh well boohoo you fucking fascist, religous freak. *wanders off*

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