Excessive

I have ideas for programs all the time... maybe not programs, but websites, or services, or just something that will make my life easier or more interesting. Today I had the idea of a dinner planning service, that you customize to feature dinners you like to make, and it would plan your meals for the week.

There is quite a few things going on lately, and as it always seems to be the case, it can feel a bit overwhelming, the amount going on, the things we have to do, the stuff that's on our minds. Today was a good day, for many different reasons, but one of those reasons is that a lot was accomplished, and that list of things - those things swimming around in my head - was reduced significantly, and I'm finally starting to let myself get excited for change.

This week has been a whirlwind of non-stop stuff to do, and my brain is just about catching up now, which leaves me feeling... kinda tired, kinda lost feeling.

I've had quite a few people come up to me recently and tell me that my writing has turned to shit (not in those words exactly mind you) and I can't help but agree that my writing has gone way down hill in the last few months. I'm not really sure the cause; obviously if I knew, I'd do everything I could to change it because writing is one of the most important things to me. My first thought is that it could be my excessive alchoholism that's fried my brain and killed my ability to write. Secondly, I used to always write my well written, epic journals while I was fucked up on sleeping pills, which I don't take anymore due to financial reasons. Thirdly, I've just lost my mind a lot more recently, in more serious, subtle ways. I'm going to be purchasing myself some Simply Sleep pills as soon as possible, not just because I can't sleep, but because I want to see if it improves my writing. Another thing is that my two writing inspirations have gone ignored for awhile now, and perhaps that's why my writing style has gone downhill. Kevin Smith's writing style has a giant influence on how I write, so I want to watch Clerks, Mallrats, Chasing Amy and Dogma really soon, and see if any of it rubs off on me. Also, Tycho from Penny Arcade has a unique writing style that I love, which for some reason has stopped rubbing off on me... I think I just need to read his posts more closely and stuff.

Love is real
It is not just in novels or the movies

It is fact
And it is standing here right in front of you
So if you open your eyes
Oh what a sweet discovery
There is hope, and there is joy, and there is acceptance
So now let all of the light that collects on your plants
Keep you warm, make you smile
And I will be there with this pen in my hand
To record all the while

I feel sick again; I always feel sick now. I always have a stomache ache or a headache, or blackoutishey (yes kids, that's a word now) or some other ailment that drives me more insane. I like to blame it on my pill, or maybe this time I'll blame it on my poor eating habits due to my non-existant food. I figure that there is no need to go grocery shopping until after we're in the new apartment, because... well, because that way I don't have to pack and move over food and things that should be frozen or refridgerated, and for some reason I just like the idea of 'starting fresh' in that sense... but then I quickly remember that you actually need food to live, which I probably should've remembered earlier.