Excessive

I feel like I've been censoring myself, and not just a little bit, but holding back most of what's going on inside of me. I do write personal things in a book, but that's different. I used to write everything on this website, but lately I've been very aware of exactly who is reading it, and who is not, and I'm not sure exactly what it is, but it shapes what I talk about, or the things I mention.

I'm home alone because Michelle is in Toronto at a engagement party or bachelorette party or whatever the fuck it's called. I have the house to myself and it feels good... I kind of see it as a preview of what life will be like soon enough.

Michelle and I broke up on July 10th, after work. I haven't written anything about it because she said she felt embarrased about the whole situation, but she hasn't exactly made it that secret.. she's told her family and part of my family and... posted on twitter relating to it, so I dunno, I'll keep this entry private but I think that I need to write it down so in the future I can look back and read about it.

I wish Michelle was here. I wish I was at home and Michelle was there. I want to be taken care of. I had the worst night ever and I mean ever. It was hell.. pure and simple. This is the worst day ever and I don't want to spend it alone.