Excessive

I have my down times and my not so down times, and recently, very recently, I seem to be on the up, and it's strange, because it's not like I gradually go from one to the other - no - it's quite the opposite, I snap into one, into the other, up and down without warning or predictibility. I thought the world was ending late last week, I felt like all hope was lost and I was so stuck in my own head, I was insane and obsessive and tortured. Saturday I had a hangover and it was a terrible day full of suffering, but something in that, something that I don't know seemed to have snapped me out of it, it's not like I gradually changed, I was a horrible mess one night, and the next night I was relaxed and enjoying some games and tv.

I feel good but I'm worried. I've been happy, as I've mentioned, but with each day my mind is getting faster and faster and harder to keep attention on things. I spent all of today going from game to game because nothing could keep my attention and nothing felt fun or interesting, I just... sat... at my computer and tapped my foot super fast non-stop and felt crazy. You could say, "well at least you aren't depressed" but... this isn't much better. I will try to keep it in perspective and enjoy the fact that the last two or three days have been very enjoyable for me, and I've enjoyed peaceful time playing games that I haven't felt in what seems like forever.

All the TV shows I watch are ending! It's all coming to an end and that's sad! Like Scrubs was supposed to be over for good but got renewed a week ago for a seventh season, so I was expecting some huge season finale (because it was supposed to be a series finale) and it was entirely disappointing and could've easily been a normal episode... overall I was pretty disappointed with the season. It might be because of how many I've seen, but I don't think it is, I think that the writing has changed. It's just gag after gag and most of it isn't funny, where before it was serious themes with humor mixed in, and I loved that. A half hour comedy that can make you cry is a good show.

Ally and Darcy came over last night and we watched the finale of America's Next Top Model and we thought it was kind of weird that no one won it, and it just ended with no winner. We tried to watch the finale of the Office after but some douche encoded it and upped it without checking if it worked, so I had to redownload a proper and it was already late so we just played a bit of Guitar Hero and then they took off.

The 1Up Show and 1Up Yours (so far) were good this week. Lots of Square Enix coverage so that's probably why I enjoyed it more than usual.

I played a little God of War tonight and made a bit of progress but got to a hard part where it just wasn't fun because I'd just die all the time, so what's the point. I was just getting frustrated and remembered why I had put the game down and never went back to it.

Today has been a pretty big downer for me, and I can't really put into words why. It may be self inflicted... I'm not sure really, but no matter the cause, I just can't wait for today, and even tomorrow to be over. I think I need a fun day like Sunday to get my spirits back up.

We'll watch the Daily Show and Colbert Report, play a bit of Guitar Hero, and then I'll be alone again, and I guess I just feel empty, and I'm 99% sure that there is nothing I can do about it.