Excessive

I went to sleep slightly earlier last night, but was woken up by Jensen having a tantrum at like 3:00am because he had a bad dream and wanted to sleep in our bed and we don't let him do that. He would not let me go back to sleep, so I went down into the basement and slept on the couch. While I was up, I had a headache, and I was starving, so I think i remember eating a slice of toast and a glass of water, but it's kind of fuzzy. I laid back down and had an awful rest of the night sleep, with everyone sleeping in late, the morning was more stressful than most.

The last two days have been pretty bad for me, it has been exactly one month to the day since my last um... down period. It effects every aspect of my life; how I feel, what I do, the things I think, the things I dwell on and obsess over. I didn't want to feel like this so soon, luckily it wasn't as bad as last time, and I think I'm going to start feeling better soon.

I kinda managed to reset my sleep patterns, in that I didn't sleep that late, went to bed at a decent time and I'm really tired, so if I don't fall asleep in the next few hours, I should be able to go to sleep tonight at a normal time.

I've run out of sleeping pills, so I think the next few days are going to be pretty difficult - in that I won't be sleeping easily, by any stretch of the imagination. I can easily see myself not even being tired until the sun is up, and I really, really don't look forward to that. I enjoy going to bed quite early, and getting up early, and feeling normal.

They block Livejournal here at work.. fucking proxy. They block some of the strangest websites, and I can't quite figure out the logic behind it. They block gamespy.. a website that has articles on gaming, but not actual games, but NOPE! blocked! We're not allowed to read things about games. CNN isn't blocked though... although it's pretty much the same idea only for world news instead of games. Yeah, I don't even know where I'm going with this.

I guess I probably have a lot to talk about... well... write about, but for some reason I don't seem to care enough to actually write anything. I've been very apathetic when it comes to writing anything lately, whether it be online or in one of my books. I've been feeling down for the last few weeks, as I've mentioned a few hundered times now. I've been feeling especially lonely and empty feeling when I'm alone... which is most nights.