Excessive

World of Warcraft is a game that keeps on going, as I'm sure anyone that's played it knows. I've started playing again recently, but not playing like I used to. I used to raid, and for those of you that don't know, that's a three day a week commitment, plus the other days doing what needed to be done to get ready to raid and raid effectively, and then on top of all that, the time required to manage a guild and ensure that the 50+ people co-existing as a team are getting along and understand our goals. No... that's not what I'm doing now.

I'm going to write a little because I want to.

Today I got woken up by my dog, Ashe (have you met?) digging in her crate over and over again for what seemed like hours, so I got up at like 8:30am, went down and let her pee, put her back and then came back to sleep, and got woken up at 9:30am for good. It was only about six hours of sleep, so I was pretty tired, especially since I had taken a sleeping pill, but what are you gonna do?

I accidentally stopped taking sleeping pills over the last couple months because of a few reasons. One being that I have been so overworked, and so tired all the time that falling asleep hasn't really been an issue, and secondly, I simply ran out of them and couldn't bring myself to find the time to go get more, so you could call it the laziness factor. Well, more recently, as in the last couple weeks, I've found myself unable to fall asleep, or even relax at all. I've been so wound up and anxious at all times, and it only gets worse at night time. I lay in bed with my mind cycling over and over the same thoughts, school work, work drama or insecurities, games I'm interested in, over and over and faster and faster and I can barely stand it. I know that generally speaking sleeping pills somewhat shut off my thinking (if they work properly) so it's a solution to a problem. In an effort to fight this recent issue, I went and bought some more pills, and have been taking them on nights where I've felt extra anxious and had racing thoughts... so every night since I got them.

I had more to write but I'm suddenly completely uninterested in doing so.

I can't sleep, I can't sleep, I can't sleep. I'm laying there... a giant ball of hyper active energy. I feel like my soul is vibrating and my mind is racing and I can't stop my racing thoughts, I can't sleep.

I've been so angry lately.

Mad about how much I'm working... 40 hour work week, full time school. I didn't ask for this many hours, what the fuck. I can't do it. Somethings gotta give.

I don't write anymore because life is so crazy busy and I don't have any time to just sit around thinking about my day... any free time that I have I desperately attempt to relax, playing games or watching TV shows, trying not to panic about life, money, school and so on. It's pretty tough... really tough... I feel like my core is about to collapse and I'm just going to implode.