Excessive

"When we look at modern man we have to face the facts that modern man suffers from a kind of poverty of the spirit, which stands in glaring contrast to his scientific and technological abundance. We've learned to fly the air like birds, we've learned to swim the seas like fish and yet we haven't learned to walk the Earth as brothers and sisters."

It's difficult to wake up and feel energetic when it comes time to do the few things that I set out to do each day when it's so god damn dark out. When I was cleaning up the consoles I had to turn the lights on because it was so dark that I couldn't quite see what I was doing... and it was only noon! NOON!

Last night I watched the movie Ghost and I've seen it a few times before as my Mom owns it on VHS (haha, VHS) but it had been awhile since I've watched it, and Michelle had never seen it, so I thought I would watch it, and I enjoyed it. It's funny, it's romantic, and it's cool, cause who doesn't think being able to be invisible would be badass? Good movie.

I had Spaghetti two nights in a row... shocking, I know. It's the first time in three weeks that I've deviated from my supper routine! The whole world is falling down around me... nooooo.

So guess what I found out?

Last night was a bad night... I had more waking nightmares (as I can't think of any other way to describe them) where as I'm attempting to fall asleep, I go through the most terrifying things in my head, blow things out of proportion and basically loop over things that upset me over and over again. I felt nervous and terrified, and obviously I couldn't sleep. It wasn't until around 4am, and had put on Seinfeld to keep me company could I finally fall asleep; it was a horrible night.

I woke up today with the feeling that I should be upset about something but couldn't remember what it was, so it kinda felt like I was missing something...

I made bacon and eggs (with coffee) for breakfast this morning, and it was yummy except for the fact that the bacon smelled like maple syrup while cooking, and made the whole place smell like maple syrup, and I hate that smell. I'm not sure why it smelled like that, but... I don't like it! I'm never buying that brand of bacon ever again.

I'm quite the angry fellow lately... I've found myself getting angry, frustrated, annoyed and violent a lot easier lately, and I'm not really sure why. I know I hold a lot of things in, and try to ignore it all by doing mindless chores all day, but sometimes it just doesn't work and I just have to scream obsenities. It's been coming out while playing games lately... I find myself getting really angry when I don't do well, and that's something that I've never really had a problem with when playing games (except a few)... I never really mind when I lose normally, but lately I just want to smash the tv, throw the controller, turn it off and then kill everyone. Way to go!

I feel slightly better this morning than I have in the last couple days, and I didn't have as much trouble falling asleep last night, and certainly didn't worry or feel crappy while I was trying to sleep. I still wasn't as tired or.. wound down as I would've liked, and I think it might have been because I had just played The Sims 2 (PC) an hour (44 minutes) before I had tried to sleep, so my mind was still active, thinking about the game... basically I was still awake and excited and stuff, and thus it was more difficult for me to fall asleep. I think that I'm going to make a rule for myself from now on where if I want to fall asleep by 1am, I shouldn't play games past 11pm, and should simply stick to watching TV's or a movie after that, since I can lay in bed and get into sleep mode.

I got my Xbox back, but apparently Xbox hard drives are manufactured to work with only one specific motherboard, so I lost my hard drive (and all save data) for a new one.