Excessive

Today was very busy at work, with normal hotel breakfast for 80, a special breakfast for 70 to 80 down the hall at the same time, another breakfast upstairs for 30 and brunch for about 80, I cooked for about 260 people or something... the morning was busy and stressful and my heart was beating and I couldn't breath that well, but... it all went perfectly, and it was fine.

I've had trouble finding my way to the computer to write lately, and as I always say, it makes me feel bad, and I regret it and I want to fix it.

Migraine.

Post Edit

My life can turn to shit in a blink of an eye. It's not that my life is shit or any such thing, no, it's rather a combination of about a thousand things that's making stress levels extraordinarily high, energy very low, motivation nonexistent and I just feel like laying down and giving up. I know that I've written it before, and I often wonder to myself just how many times I'll write it down, read it over and ask this same question?

This post was written on the night of Tuesday September 18, 2012, but not posted until the date on the entry.

Survived the day driving to Niagara Falls, spent some nice time with Bekki eating a nice dinner, seeing some attractions and playing some games. We've had a good night, and now it's 11:12pm, I'm sitting in one of the King Jacuzzi suites in the Four Points by Sheridan in the middle of downtown Niagara Falls, one block from the falls. I can see the water and the mist from the falls from my window, and it's pretty awesome.

Today has been a long and tiring day of work, bad news, headaches, feeling like shit, and all that fun stuff. Not only that but I spent the morning reading old entries and wishing I still had the ability to form well written sentences that sounded good and conveyed ideas and concepts. I used to be a good writer, and I wonder how many times I've written entries talking about how I wished I could write like I used to, but here I go again, repeating myself, again and again.

Things have been fucking crazy lately and I've been going up and down with such severity that I haven't felt like myself at all over the last week or so. It started with trying to find a new place to live... it suddenly dawned on us that we don't have to live here, and that we could perhaps find somewhere larger and more quiet, but could still afford it, even though it would be an increase in cost, it could still be managable. We found a place and really liked it, and got really excited about it, and then that lead in to some other bullshit - bullshit that I won't get into - but it resulted in just... complete disappointement.

I'm still having a lot of problem adjusting to being home, and back to working full time. I went from working twice a week, to having a whole week off, to working seven days in a row. It's a shock to the system, and the nature of the shifts - the timing, 11 to 7, means that I don't get lunch, I don't get dinner, and it leaves me with no time to do anything in the morning, and no time to do anything at night, and I'm miserable, just completely miserable.

I'm home from Nova Scotia, and if you noticed I didn't write for the rest of my trip, but in fact I did, and I have rough notes all written up for what I'll write, but I haven't had the time to write about it in detail. I will go back and flesh it out and post it, so it won't be current, or whatever, but it's my story and I can tell it however I want.