Excessive

I don't know why I thought this show was interesting, it's so overdramatic and not interesting, and so staged, it's hard to watch. The show makes me uncomfortable in a way that other shows can't. 

Was it a coincidence that I sat and played various Playstation 4 games quite a bit both Saturday and Today, and both days I had to take a migraine pill? No, I don't think it's too far fetched to say that it could be related to staring at the screen, my posture while I sit, or some mix of those types of things. I enjoyed the time playing games, but I don't really enjoy how I feel physically at the moment. On top of the headaches, I am also always so unbelievably tired that I yawn and can barely enjoy or pay attention to a game while I'm playing it. All these issues combined, I still managed to play more than my fair share of games this weekend, and these are some of my initial impressions.

So we got a Playstation 4, or at least... I got a Playstation 4. I say we because there really is no I as far as possession goes, but it was I who wanted one for sure, but we both agreed that it'd be fine to get. That's what tax returns are for right? Giving up mmo's (WoW, FFXIV), has lead me to play way fewer games than before. I have recently been playing some PC games, Saint's Row, XCom... which lead me to want to play console games, or at least made me miss the days when I could get lost in a console game and worry less about stuff. Those feelings led me to want a PS4, since I figured the experiences would be more relevant and up to date, and that was exciting.

Another really busy day, which went okay. Some slight physical symptoms that seemed to get worse near the end of the day.

I've been really considering buying a PS4 and I'm pretty excited about it but I can't quite pull the trigger on it. I just always feel bad whenever I spend money. I'd be pretty fun to play some games though.

I think I'm going through a small mental breakdown, a mental hicup. My heart never stops pounding, I feel super anxious and I feel down for no reason. I can't help but think these are symptoms of withdrawl or change in medication. I feel like garbage and I feel sad, lonely, isolated, just, not.. normal. I don't feel good.

Today was the worst. I felt so stressed out, and I didn't enjoy a single second of the day. I'm watching Legends of Tomorrow, a terrible show that makes me embarrased to have read comic books.

We went for our second ultrasound, which should've really been the first ultrasound, and it was pretty cool. Although it wasn't quite as exciting as the very first time I ever laid eyes on my baby, but it was still cool. The baby was kicking like crazy, like winding up and then flailing out like a herpasaurus. It was funny, and such gymnastics actually made me slightly worried that it wasnt normal but the ultrasound lady was like, lawl, so I didn't think too much about it.

Went to the doctor's today... Switched my anxiety medication to a cousin of Effexor, um.. some longer word that started with C. On top of that, gave up the nasal spray, becasue breathing at night wasn't a priority (migraines were) and I got a blood pressure medication, not because my blood pressure is bad (it's actually perfect) but the blood pressure medication might help reduce the frequency of migraines.

I had to stay home from work today because there was a storm overnight, and the 401 was closed in multiple areas on the way to London, so there wasn't really a way to get to work safely, so I just worked from home.

Today was the worst.

I had to leave work an hour early because of my headache. It was this sharp, intense pain behind my eye, up the back of my neck, on the left side. I couldn't think straight, and I'm not just saying that. I mean, I was having trouble getting thoughts through. I could only stare at the screen, and things weren't making sense.