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March 31, 2003 12:39PM

Relaxation
  • I lived with Ben on Cartier
  • I was with Linzie
  • I worked at Pizza Hut

It was nice to wake up this morning and not have to worry about going to work or anything of the sort. It was just nice to wake up and know that there was no rush. Okay.. well, actually I'm lying. I wanted to go to the mall and since the mall closes at five or so, and I woke up at three or so... I had about half an hour to get up and get ready, but it wasn't like work or anything!


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March 30, 2003 1:53AM

Time Off Now...
  • I lived with Ben on Cartier
  • I was with Linzie
  • I worked at Pizza Hut

I worked from 5 till 10 tonight, with Aaron, Juilia and Geoff. It was alright, although I really wanted to be at home... I get a few days off work now, so I can finally maybe turn my sleep around, feel comfortable again and maybe start feeling happy again. I've been feeling like shit for so long now, I don't remember what it's like to be happy. It's been a few months for sure. I'd say since early January. But, I've been through this before and I know it WILL subside eventually.

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March 29, 2003 9:03AM

Sick Day
  • I lived with Ben on Cartier
  • I was with Linzie
  • I worked at Pizza Hut

I had work today from 5 till 11, but I was really really sick (vomitty and other things :|) and Aaron stayed til 11 for me and I left at 9. It was so horrible. I wanted to throw up and cry at the same time. And it was hard to walk and think and do things... I wanted a hug.


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March 28, 2003 4:55AM

TYPING TEST!!!!
  • I lived with Ben on Cartier
  • I was with Linzie
  • I worked at Pizza Hut

I just took an online typing test. I type consistantly at 95 words per minute. Not bad I guess. Take the test if you'd like - http://www.typingtest.com/

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March 28, 2003 12:00AM

Sleep Is A Waste Of Time
  • I lived with Ben on Cartier
  • I was with Linzie
  • I worked at Pizza Hut

I sleep all day, get up, go to work, come home, be depressed. It's such a circle of hate. I just want to turn it around, but I can't because of work. I can't stay up all day and go to bed at a decent time becuase I have to go to stupid work... Not till Sunday. I can make it till then right?


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March 27, 2003 5:20AM

Officially Dead
  • I lived with Ben on Cartier
  • I was with Linzie
  • I worked at Pizza Hut

I think my site may be officially dead now.. or something. I dunno, it just seems like no one comes here anymore. I know I always say that, but it really seems that way now. Even the two regulars I used to get don't come anymore I think. I've been doing this for quite some time. A year actually. It's been a year since I reopened Excessive Rambling and since then I think I've only had about 5 unique visitors... neato! NEAT-FUCKING-O!! OH NO! I'M SWEARING! FUCK FUCK FUCK!!! We can show death on tv but NOOOO FUCKING SWEARING! Swearing is nothing anyway. Nothing. Just vibrations of your body. God..


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March 25, 2003 4:11AM

Another Update
  • I lived with Ben on Cartier
  • I was with Linzie
  • I worked at Pizza Hut

I just finished playing Diablo 2 with two people named Impalerzen and AnotherSuckyDay and I'd just like to say it's awesome to know that there are at least a few people out there who can still make a game of Diablo 2 fun, instead of endless name calling and noob spitting. We had fun, we joked, we shared items, we helped each other and it was genuinly FUN to play. I rarely play with other people and it looks like I was rewarded for doing so this time. I doubt I'll be so lucky for a long time, but again, I'd like to thank both Impalerzen (Necromancer) and AnotherSuckyDay (Druid), you guys keep the fun in gaming.

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March 25, 2003 12:00AM

Stupid Days
  • I lived with Ben on Cartier
  • I was with Linzie
  • I worked at Pizza Hut

I closed today at work... I don't like these days that much. I only get to spend about an hour with Linzie and it makes me sad. Work is hard, because I'm responsible for everything and everyone and it can be stressful at times. Especially when other people make mistakes and I'm held responsible for it... it's hard to know what to do at times.


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March 23, 2003 11:12PM

I Feel So Sad
  • I lived with Ben on Cartier
  • I was with Linzie
  • I worked at Pizza Hut

Today was pretty good. I had a lot of energy because of my pill and I played a lot of games but for a lot of the time I felt weird and my mind was racing really fast... so it was an average to above average day. But, for some reason around 9 or so, Linzie went to sleep or fell asleep, whichever and stayed asleep until 11, regardless of my attempts to wake her. For some reason this really makes me sad.. really really sad. I started crying as she was leaving.. I feel so sad right now, I just want to curl up somewhere.. I just want to cry.. Why am I so sad?

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March 23, 2003 6:47AM

Dammit..
  • I lived with Ben on Cartier
  • I was with Linzie
  • I worked at Pizza Hut

i forgot to take my pill yesterday. It was Linzie and I's 11 month thingy and I walked to her house and retrieved her at 5:30 in the morning, and we went back to my place and slept together until 3pm! Yay! It was so nice to wake up beside her. But anyway, I forgot to take my pill because I woke up late, had to go to work and stuff.. but anyway, I hate this feeling. I want to die and I hate everything and everyone and I know why and I know it can go away but I have to wait to take today's pill so I'm going to feel this way for hours. I read what I wrote a couple days ago and I want to cry because of how much I want to feel that happy now but can't because I'm not drugged. I feel lonely, unimportant and insignificant. I'm beyond the point of insanity in everyday life. The way I think in my head now, is like I'm writing. My inner dialog is no longer dialog, it's me writing to myself, in my head.. All the time.. it drives me nuts and I can't shut it off.

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