Excessive

Sunday's aren't as enjoyable as they once were... second week in a row where I haven't opened, first week where I've had to go in after shit had started to try to organize crap and get things going.

It feels like it's been a long and tiring day. My legs hurt, my eyes are heavy and my back kinda aches. Yeah, I may be opening with complaining, but today wasn't all bad. Work wasn't the greatest but school went pretty well, and between school and work was pretty cool, so all in all a fine day I guess.

Today was actually a pretty good day, an out-of-routine type of day but a good day none-the-less. A day of school, friends, tradition, being social-ish and fun.

School, work, migrain, three t3s, write some research paper, bathe, write a bit more, decide I'm never going to be able to write tonight, play Skyrim for an hour, go to bed. That's all folks!

Alright so I might have taken a sleeping pill... the first one in a few days actually. I only took one because I got home from work wide awake, full of energy and wired, I worked on school and that woke me up even more, and then it was 11:30pm and I have to wake up at 6am, so instead of being up until 3am or 4am, I figured taking a sleeping pill now would be my best bet at falling asleep any kind of early.

I know your face
I know your smile and how it plays
Into the minds of those who
Cling to every word you say

This isn't how I wanted to
Remember me and you
Your eyes are talking but
Your lips are standing still..
Open your mouth tell me
How I'm supposed to feel?

I didn't leave the house today... I woke up, had breakfast and started working on school, and didn't stop until 5pm at which point I had dinner, and then once I was done dinner, I just went back to working on school until around 9pm or so... I have one "step" left for client/server, and just need to write the intro/conclusion for the research paper, so I'm in pretty good shape. I will do client/server tomorrow either in school or after work, and will do the research paper Thursday.

Why must I never get tired? Why can't I just get super sleepy and tired and want nothing more but to curl up under blankets and fall asleep. I sit here at 3:16am and I am wide awake; I could go about my day as if I had just slept the entire night and not know any different. I feel cursed, and frustrated. It's tempting to take a sleeping pill, and there aren't many good reasons not too, but principle, it's the idea that I don't have to rely on it is what stops me.

I haven't taken a sleeping pill for days, maybe that's why I've let th writing slip, or maybe it's just been because of how busy I've been, or maybe it's because my E key is being annoying as fucking hell, who knows. I do know that the last few days have been very busy, very active, very blurry. I've taken too much Xanax due to... whatever, school and then retardedness, and it's effected my memories of the last few days.

I don't particularly care for the last couple months of my life, for various reasons, many of which I've repeated over and over again here, but for other reasons too... reasons I wouldn't write down.