Excessive

I had nightmares last night... a very odd nightmare that was probably a combination and manifestation of a wide variety of thoughts and feelings, but it took place in Grey St. and with Michelle I think, but she hated me and was really mean, and I remember feeling really... hurt. There were other people there... Jon from work... and I was asked to make eggs for some reason... it was fucked up. It didn't leave me feeling very good, not at all.

How am I feeling? That's an interesting question... let me think. I'm feeling uncomfortable. I'm feeling physically uncomfortable, and mentally distracted and anxious. While, generally speaking, my day was fine, it was pretty draining, and now that I'm home, instead of actually relaxing like I honestly should've been able to do, I've been the complete opposite, I've been uncomfortable, my heart is pounding, I'm distracted and my mind is racing.

I wanted to write tonight but got distracted by brain storming with Calen about a new feature for Excessive Games, so I worked on that for a little bit and now I'm too tired to put any effort in to this entry.

I'm sure I'll write a longer, more official entry later tonight, but I'm sitting here bored and I figured I may as well do something with my brain while I wait for Julie to arrive. I worked today, and left a tiny bit early, just a half hour or something... the day went really well, but I started to get a headache and it just keeps getting worse.

Work was pretty relaxed and calm today, a nice change, a good day, nothing terrible or stressful happened, things just went according to plan and all was well.

Skyward Sword is a lot of fun, much more than that I thought it would be, specifically the motion controls. As I'm getting used to the motions required, it's becoming less frustrating, as I can make Link perform the moves I want without thinking about it as much. While I didn't get to play as much as I wanted to since I had to go in to work today, I did play for about an hour after my bath, and I had fun, and wish I could play more, but maybe it's better to play in small doses, to avoid burn out. I love the visual style, like... paint, and as things go into the background, into the distance... they become blogs of paint almost, it's really cool.

Well the majority of the day was good, however there are certain signs that perhaps I'm not doing that well, quite the opposite of depressed though, I'm irresponsible and careless, not thinking things through, making poor choices and while right now it made me happy, I'm sure I will get a sinking feeling in my stomach soon enough.

I bring my iPhone with me everywhere I go, not just out of the house, but I mean... in the house. I bring it from room to room, as if something important may happen at any moment, but I don't get texts really... I act like one may arrive at any moment, but they don't. I just thought I would write that out, because I think about it each time I move to the living room or to the computer room and make sure I bring my phone.

It's 1am and I feel like I just got home. I haven't done anything but bathe and play Ocarina of Time for a half an hour... Oh what a day... done and over with before it even began, kind of sad in a way.

Besides the couple times I've had late nights at work and early mornings at school, I've been sleeping pill free for about the last two weeks or so, and it's been going okay I guess. It's more difficult falling asleep for sure, and I'm waking up almost as tired, so there is no real benefit beyond the knowledge that I don't have foreign substances in my body. It's hurt my ability to write, or at least the amount I write, as I've noticed... but I guess it doesn't matter, no one reads anymore anyway.